Witty Profiles

_Invisible_Love

1. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   October 15, 2012 5:49pm UTC
   Ride unicorns,
   Not dicks.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 148 points
2. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   September 14, 2012 9:51pm UTC
   Katy Perry- "Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag..."
   Me- "Umm no actually, I dont..."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points
3. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   August 30, 2012 1:10pm UTC
   When I'm Home Alone...
   Me: Hmm.. Im hungry.
   Me: WHERES THE FOOD?! GIMME THE FOOD!!
   Me: *Shoves food into face*
   Pets: ...
   Me: ...
   Me: What??
   Pets: ...
   Me: I need to eat less. I'm so fat.
   Me: *Starts doing crunches*
   Me: That should do the trick
   Me: Im still hungry.
   Me: *Eats a quart of icecream*
   Me: Im borrrrrrrrrrrrrrreedddddddddddddddd
   Me: YOUR INSECURE, DONT KNOW WHAT FOR, YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE DOOR-OR-OR!
   Me: ...
   Dog: ...
   Fish: ... Blub Blub Blub
   Potato: ...
   Me: I GOTTA PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
   Me: Sh/t. Moms home.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 99 points
4. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   August 30, 2012 12:47pm UTC
   Waiter: Enjoy your meal
   Me: You too!
   Waiter:...
   Me:...
   Waiter: *Raises eyebrows*
   Me: Oh
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points
5. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   August 30, 2012 10:58am UTC
   That awkward moment when...
   "Someone Like You" comes on the radio and your moms boyfriend decides to put down all the windows in the car and belt out the lyrics like a dying hippo.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
6. _Invisible_Love
   posted a quote
   August 29, 2012 10:07pm UTC
   Sales Calls...
   Most People-
   "Hello?"
   *Hangs up phone*
   My Dad-
   "Hola"
   "HOLA!!!"
   "HOLA???"
   "ME NO SPEAK NO ENGLISH!"
   "HOLAAAAAAAAA"
   "adios."
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

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