Thisactuallyhappened Quotes

Bec*
posted a quote
January 13, 2015 2:59am UTC

One time I told my dog to turn off my light and close the door.

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
October 28, 2014 7:34pm UTC

*me trying to make conversation at dinner*
"what if i was secretly charlie sheen"

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
October 6, 2014 3:21pm UTC

"Birthday weekends are the reason for this country's decline." ~ My Algebra 2 teacher

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
August 13, 2014 6:25am UTC

M y little brother was singing Friend Like Me from Aladdin i n the shower
last night that Robin Williams was alive. Ironic or nah?

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ParticipationAward*
posted a quote
July 15, 2014 5:25pm UTC

Grandma: Take out the trash!
Grandpa: Fine get your coat and lets go.

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
April 14, 2014 10:08am UTC

If you thought my crush
Snapchatting me himself playing
with a bubble gun was adorable,
well apparently that's not the cutest thing ever.
He snapchats me himself riding around his
house on one of of those sticks with a
horse head on top. Yeah.

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
March 24, 2014 5:07pm UTC

*One day in Geometry*
Guy in my class: I just love fictional charachters and mythical creatures like oh my god
Geometry teacher: So you're in love with a unicorn?

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
March 24, 2014 3:26pm UTC

*One day in health class*
Health teacher: *to the boys* Do you guys find it annoying when girls cry?
Guy named Christian: When it's over a soap opera? Yeah. When it's over Finding Nemo? No questions asked.

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MoonAngel
posted a quote
March 9, 2014 9:39am UTC

*In my dream*
My crush : I love you.
Me : I lo-
Dream : Lol no *rapidly changes into battlefield*
Me : *Shoots crush with sniper rifle*
Why ;-;

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madeleinebabeee
posted a quote
February 23, 2014 2:30pm UTC

I told my teacher that I accidentally divided by zero and my homework exploded as an excuse for undone homework.
I got detention.

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jessicabliss
posted a quote
February 12, 2014 9:34pm UTC

Ohmygosh so today in band
I was having a really hard time playing a high D on my clarinet
and the conductor got really mad that I couldn't play it and I
kid you not, he screamed: "Just take out the D!"
...
I laughed so hard he made me leave the band room until I could
"get myself under control"

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skilletbiscuit
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 10:18am UTC

If someone asks you if you carry around knives, respond with: "HE// YEAH I DO!!! I'm about to stab you with 'em right now!"
Usually does the trick.

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helloimasmileface
posted a quote
December 17, 2013 7:24pm UTC

You don't know true embarrassment
until you're sitting in a chair at school, you turn around,
and stab your teacher in the stomach with a pencil.
Sigh...

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
November 29, 2013 1:17am UTC

In Class
Boy: Paramore is a terrible band.
Me: *twitches*
Boy: Ew, Fall Out Boy?
Me: *clenches pencil tighter*
Boy: Green Day is the worst band ever.
Me: *snaps*
2 HOURS LATER
Officer: So... he voluntarily climbed out of the window?
Me: That seems to be the situation, Officer.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
November 19, 2013 7:23pm UTC

Girl: *making fun of me during lunch because I whisper to myself*
Girl: *mocking me*
*in English next period*
Girl: *walks up to me* *mocks my whispering*
Me: WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY? IT'S NOT FUNNY.
Entire Classroom: *gasps*
Teacher: *turns around in shock*
Me: ...
Student: He speaks.

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*kawaii satan*
posted a quote
November 4, 2013 12:08pm UTC

my brother: hahaha so is your mum
me:
my brother:
me:
my brother:
me:
my brother:
me:
my brother: wait

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nicole🌹*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 9:16pm UTC

So tonight I went out with two of my friends. I was sitting there on my phone looking through the top quotes on Witty while we were waiting for our food to come. (I wasn't logged in thank goodness) One of my friends noticed and was like "What's Witty Profiles?" Then she took my phone and started reading all the top quotes aloud and her and my other friend were making fun of them. My other friend was like "Witty Profiles. What a stupid website." I was like, "Heh heh..."
they better sleep with one eye open tonight.

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chocolate4lifee
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 7:21pm UTC

Today my friend literally tripped over a banana in the cafeteria and i really have no words. Oh my god.

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megaserperior
posted a quote
October 3, 2013 10:09pm UTC

*During lunch*
Friend: So, I heard you like bad girls.
Me: Sure....
Friend: Well, I don't want to be too much of a rebel, but...
Friend: *whispers* I go on Disney.com without my parents permission.

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jessicabliss
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 8:29pm UTC

What I learned in my Bio class today...
-If you were to eat a person, you should eat the butt first
-It is very hard to punch your tongue
-No one has ever said "that cow has a fine booty"
-Rabbits have icky eating habits
-It is a bad idea to eat your own waste
-No one drinks Gatorade in Canada
-Cows have icky eating habits as well
-Milk has magical powers

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