Witty Profiles

megaserperior

1. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   March 9, 2014 6:00pm UTC
   You know what scares me?
   The few people that I'd trust with my life could easily be lying through their teeth.
   
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2. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   December 21, 2013 11:34pm UTC
   Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, (Reindeer)
   Had a very shiny nose! (Like a lightning bolt!)
   And if you ever saw it, (saw it)
   You would even say it glows! (Like radiation!)
   All of the other reindeer, (Reindeer!)
   Used to laugh and call him names! (Like Psycopath!)
   They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
   Join in any reindeer games! (Like the Knife Game!)
   Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
   Santa came to say, (You're under arrest!)
   Rudolph with your nose so bright,
   Won't you lead the crusifixion tonight?
   Then all the reindeer loved him! (Loved him!)
   As they shouted out with glee! (Crucify!)
   Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, (Reindeer)
   You'll go down in history! (Like Atila the Hun!)
   
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3. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 29, 2013 11:33pm UTC
   Am I the only one...
   Who gets in those moods where you aren't willing to die, but you're just tired of living? Like you want to go into hibernation for a couple years and let problems solve themselves...
   
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4. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 28, 2013 5:53pm UTC
   Me: *Scrolling through quotes*
   Me: *Sees random selfie*
   Me: OH GOD DO I KNOW YOU?!
   Me: *Opens their profile, previous quotes, comments, and followers*
   Me: *Stalks for an hour*
   Me: ...Ok, I'm good...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
5. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 27, 2013 1:53pm UTC
   Mom: *Leaving me home alone* Do you know how to call 911?
   Me: You pick up the phone, dial 022, and hit the call button.
   Mom: ......
   Me: ...Of course I do! Just go
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
6. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 27, 2013 1:46pm UTC
   Is it supposed to say
   Pet's Mart or Pet Smart?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
7. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 27, 2013 1:21pm UTC
   Am I the only one...
   Who finds it sad, pathetic, and hilarious that in today's society, people have to advertise that their product is made of "real ice cream", "actual cheese", or "may or may not contain fish"?
   
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8. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   October 3, 2013 10:09pm UTC
   *During lunch*
   Friend: So, I heard you like bad girls.
   Me: Sure....
   Friend: Well, I don't want to be too much of a rebel, but...
   Friend: *whispers* I go on Disney.com without my parents permission.
   
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9. megaserperior
   posted a quote
   July 29, 2013 12:50am UTC
   •••••••••••••••••••••••••••
   That glorious moment when...
   Mom comes home from grocery shopping.
   •••••••••••••••••••••••••••
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
10. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2013 6:27pm UTC
    Why must video games insist on defying all laws of physics and common sense?
    Eating your enemies does not give you magic powers.
    You should not be able to shoot fireballs underwater.
    It's dangerous to go in the tall grass, but you can go and overthrow a giant criminal organization.
    Spiders my size should not exist. Period.
    A person made out of metal should not exist.
    And a person made out of metal should not weigh the same as a princess.
    I have never even seen a tyrannosaurus rex, much less heard of a ten year old beating one up.
    "We're gonna battle with our Pokemon in order to liberate them from trainers!"
    Mushrooms don't give you random growth spurts.
    Stickers have never helped me in a fight. Ever.
    Since when can magic dust be made out of toadstools?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
11. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2013 5:51pm UTC
    Driving test?
    Who needs to worry about that? Mario Karts has gotten me prepared for anything they can throw at me. Literally.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
12. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    July 12, 2013 8:53pm UTC
    Random Fact:
    It's impossible to dream while snoring.
    
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13. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 1:41am UTC
    BravoSierra's format
    How to Walk in Flips Flops!
    1. Kick one of your flip flops off of your foot and away.
    2. Run after it.
    3. Put it back on your foot.
    4. Repeat above steps.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
14. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2013 8:41pm UTC
    Mom: I'm back from my three week vacation!
    Sister: How was it? Did you have fun?
    Me: Hey, how was the food?
    
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15. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    May 4, 2013 7:39pm UTC
    Elementary School: Pokemon!
    MIddle School: Dude, you still play Pokemon?
    College: Pokemon!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
16. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    May 3, 2013 12:43am UTC
    This is my first time for about a month...
    Me: *Is looking through history* Hm, I haven't been on Witty for awhile...
    Witty: I know you want to...
    Me: Ok, I'll just browse some quotes, I shouldn't be too long.
    Witty: Oh! Look at this quote next! And this one is hilarious! And this one is super inspirational!
    Me: Maybe I should start coming here again...
    Witty: Don't forget to add quotes too! Let your voice be heard!
    Me: Good idea...
    *A couple hours later*
    Me: I'M SO SORRY. I WON'T LEAVE YOU EVER AGAIN.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
17. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    May 3, 2013 12:35am UTC
    BravoSierra's format
    Where not to put a Window:
    1. On the floor - If the glass breaks, you're screwed.
    2. In between your bedroom and your parents' bedroom - You may wake up and see them wrestling in bed.
    ~ My Industrial Arts Teacher
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
18. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2013 10:29pm UTC
    Just out of curiousity...
    Who can Wittians that are allergic to cats turn to?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
19. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    March 16, 2013 7:18am UTC
    Want a six pack?
    Follow these simple steps!
    Step 1: Go to your local grocery store.
    Step 2: Buy some pudding.
    There you go! How to get a Wittian six pack!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points
20. megaserperior
    posted a quote
    February 24, 2013 8:17pm UTC
    Dear Disney,
    Laugh tracks alone don't make "jokes" funny.
    Sincerely,
    Anybody that still watches this crap
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points

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