People need to understand that mental health is much more important than academic or financial wealth. I cannot gloat that my family is rich, or that i am sheer brilliance in the eyes of scholars. I am not rich, probably never will be, and I am average at just about everything I do. But I didn't particularly mind, because I was happy with who I was. And then suddenly school became much harder, with stricter teachers and shorter deadlines. Teachers suddenly took my innocent misunderstandings as incompetence, and revelled in pubicaly humiliating me to the point of tears. I was branded as "dramatic" or "too sensitive" because I cried whilst being called a "revolting liar". Suddenly I couldn't afford text books and was laughed at for being "the poor kid", children openly asking "why are you poor?" even though i didn't know I was - I was clothed and fed, but soon I learnt that in school "poor" meant you couldn't buy yourself gifts whenever you liked. it became too much; I started crying between classes, hiding in deserted bathrooms to throw up until I was fifteen minutes late for French; was told I was "quelle perte de temps idiote" by a man who was meant to encourage, simply because I had forgotten the difference between "de dessous" and "de dessus". I was no longer happy. I started to self destruct; would rip the skin of my knuckles to distract myself from the oncoming slaughter of not knowing the right answer. I started to become angry at my supposed poverty, and all the taunts I received just because I didn't have a phone. I visibly shook in crowded hallways, and then one day I refused to go. My mother tried to force me, and I cried with snot running down my chin, begging "Please, I can't go. I want to but I can't". This lasted for an hour, until she noticed I had started to subconsciously tear the skin of my forearms, creating large red welts that distracted me from the tightness of my chest. I didn't go that day. A week later I had to see a doctor who would stare at my face and ask dumb questions - she told me I had all of these problems before writing a list of prescriptions eight pages long - fluoxetine, diazepam, ferrous sulfate, all these drugs - just so I could function. None of them particularly help, and Now I'm nothing. I'm not rich, or smart, and I'm definitely not happy.
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nitters202
*nerium*
Fayedaway
PrimarilyParamore*
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* . ~ serena ~ . *
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