Today we had another argument. He thinks I'm just jealous because of his friend/girlfriend or whatever. But I'm just scared he'll do the same thing my "best friend" did, as soon as he had a girlfriend he just stopped talking to me. I'm so scared to lose him. At the same time I'm mad at myself for letting him in in the first place. I really need to stop letting people in. After the argument I cried for an hour. & then he called me as if it was nothing venting about his problem. If he doesn't want to be with me, why would he always come venting to me? Why would he say that he'd do anything for me? Why would he give me a car? Why would he call me back instantly, when I hung up on him? I just couldn't bear to lose him. I need him in my life. But I need to stop driving him away with my insecurities. :/
bewitched* posted a quote
July 14, 2018 2:13am EDT
My late grandmother’s name is Sheilia, and I swear I’ve never heard the name so much as I have since she passed. It’s everywhere, more people have it than I used to think. Hearing it is like a small blow to the stomach each time, and I find myself wondering if these strangers sharing her name are as great a human being as she was while simultaneously deciding that they can’t possibly compare. My grief sets them up for failure simply for possessing something they didn’t choose, no more than my grandma did.
i'm one of those people that can't let go.if i've had fun with you once, i will text you on your birthday for at least the next five years. if we were friends in elementary school and haven't talked since, i guarantee i still know your mom's name and your favorite food.my crushes never go away, they just fade. i still tell stories about great times with people i haven't seen in years. if you turn down my offer to get drinks and catch up ten times, i promise i will still ask an 11th time. if we fight and you block me, i will find a way to check in on you anyway to make sure you're okay. so if i give up on you, just know that you damn well deserved it.
this is so important please read... listen to me. no fr just listen. put aside all your hate and get rid of the tension. you dont like someone because they're differet than you? because they grew up different and talk different, they look different than you? they dont have the same clothes as you, maybe they dont even speak the same language as you...so what? Ya. okay so we're all different. this world is so beautiful because of the diversity in it..honestly i love it. i hope we never get rid of it. i pray we can all learn to love each other. i pray all those you hate, one day you'll call brother. i wish things were just perfect. i wish kids like us didnt die..our generation its like all we do is cry. how many of your friends have committed suicide? how many times have YOU tried? how many times have you laid awake at night, tear stains on your pillow as you quietly cried? ya i know, because ive been there too, im right there with you..all we can really do is get through..its hard. you cant see the light and its like the whole 🌎 is just dark like night....so when will we stop? stop putting each other down..maybe create someones smile today instead of making them frown. maybe tell someone you love them twice instead of just once..maybe give an extra hug...maybe spend that extra minute with the ones you love..just slow down..its not big things...its really just the little things that can make the big difference. create love today, lets make everyone shine...with all this darkness, i know, you really gotta grind. ya Its not easy to be the only one...you feel all alone tryna shine bright like the sun when all they wanna do is put you down..but just try it...i swear we can make a difference...all we have to do is apply it. Its so simple really...we have to live it..going back to the golden rule..we cant give in. Be different, lets just be ourselves...and except each other for it..we should respect each other for it..ill stand beside my enemy because I have to admit it...i wanna leave this world better than before i was in it. 💓🌎💓