☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾ You ask my why all of my writing sounds sad, but you don't understand the way it manifests. The way my words are strung fairy lights, in an empty house at midnight, trying to make all of the dark edges beautiful again. ☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾
We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,— This debt we pay to human guile; With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, And mouth with myriad subtleties. Why should the world be over-wise, In counting all our tears and sighs? Nay, let them only see us, while We wear the mask. We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries To thee from tortured souls arise. We sing, but oh the clay is vile Beneath our feet, and long the mile; But let the world dream otherwise, We wear the mask!
Fly low ye carrion crow Seize my body for the debt I owe Drop me high into the depths below For the things I've seen, no one else should know It's just you and me and my rib-caged brain We polished the [smile] and we dust the [pain] And we lay down fallow like slaveless chains And they call us sick as though they're all so sane So, fly low ye carrion crow And seize my body for to free my soul And drop me high into the depths below For the things I've seen, no one else should know And what speak you of a love so bold? No song could sing, no word could hold But I warn you now of an end foretold And a lifelong waiting for a death's parole So, fly low ye carrion crow Seize my body for it lives no more Drop me high into the depths below For the things I've seen, no one else should know For the things I've seen, no one else should know For the things I've seen, no one else should know
It seems like every day's the same And I'm left to discover on my own It seems like everything is gray And there's no color to behold They say it's over and I'm fine again, yeah Try to stay sober feels like I'm dying here And I am aware now of how Everything's gonna be fine one day Too late, I'm in hell I am prepared now Seems everyone's gonna be fine One day too late, just as well I feel the dream in me expire And there's no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar 'Cause I can't seem to get this through You say it's over, I can sigh again, yeah Why try to stay sober when I'm dying here -Fine Again by Seether
I'm sorry I ever thought we could be friends. You see, every single time that you needed something, I gave it to you But now, when I need something, you are never there. I get it now. You only care about you. And you only need me, when it benefits you...
Memorium* posted a quote
September 17, 2017 7:17pm EDT
i feel broken inside and i dont know what to do i feel like any minute id lose my mind like i lost you i can't let go of this pain i cant let go of this urge to break down this time being strong is really hard to do i dont know how much more i can possibly take how many more smiles i could possibly fake how many more miles these scarred up legs can make
but it is in me, this bottomless grief, another organ in my body – always pulsating, always infecting, always eager to kill. so picture this: you bring the fruit to your lips, but all you taste is rotten. picture this: the worm has consumed the sweetest pulps. there is nothing left, but skin.
I wish I’d spent more time with my dad when he was still alive – now I don’t have the chance. I wish I had told my brother just how much I loved him before he went off to war – but I just shook his hand. And I wish I’d gone to church on Sunday mornings when my grandma begged me to – but I was scared of God. And I wish I would’ve listened when they said boy, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t... (but I wouldn’t.)
I’m learning so many different ways to be quiet. There’s how I stand in the lawn, that’s one way. There’s also how I stand in the field across from the street, that’s another way because I’m farther from people and therefore more likely to be alone. There’s how I don’t answer the phone, and how I sometimes like to lie down on the floor in the kitchen and pretend I’m not home when people knock. There’s daytime silent where I stare, and a nighttime silent when I do things. There’s shower silent and bath silent and California silent and Kentucky silent and car silent and then there’s the silence that comes back, a million times bigger than me, sneaks into my bones and wails and wails and wails until I can’t be quiet anymore.