when I was born
he was a little more than disappointed.
wanted a boy more than anything,
but he settled with a girl, cradling me in his arms as he said,
"just remember, I'll always be smarter than you."
he swallowed his disappointment as I
grew old enough to toddle around the house.
played Disney princesses with me,
never complaining when I made him be the villain, or when
he had better things to do,
like paying bills or taking care of my baby brothers.
when I was five, I skipped off to school,
smiling as I waved goodbye to him from the big metal doors.
I was always top of my class, but that was
somehow never good enough for him.
"just remember, I'll always be smarter than you."
as I grew up, his disappointment became
more obvious, though he tried to hide it.
he worked late, and spent his nights coaching
baseball and soccer, or playing video games with
my brothers, never bothering to come to parent observation night at dance,
and falling asleep during ballet recitals.
when I was fourteen, I fell in love (with a girl, mind you),
dizzy and in too deep to realize my mistakes.
his disappointment turned into utter disgust
as he browsed through every message I had ever sent her.
"just remember, I'll always be smarter than you."
now those tiny bumps and bruises of my childhood
have morphed into ugly red scars.
I sob, scream, cry, defy.
he puts his head in his hands,
wondering where he went wrong.
Jillian Marie*
motz_ztom*
ItsRachaelxo
CookieMonster09*
gab*
moolie_poolie*
AngelwithaSecret*
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