Best Christmas Quotes Ever

happiest*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 2:55pm UTC

Me: For Christmas I want a boyfriend
Santa: Let's be realistic

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 21, 2013 3:24pm UTC

Today my dad was singing Christmas carols in the kitchen
Dad:He knows how long you sleep in
Dad:He knows that you've been baked
Dad:He knows you spend all day online so you better hope your grandma gets you something nice because Santa is done with your sh-t

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 3:26pm UTC

I hate when people put irrelevant tags in their quotes

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happiest*
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 1:35pm UTC

every christmas my mum suggests that we all sit and play monopoly, and every year it ends with her crying in the corner, dad refusing to talk to anyone, my older brother screaming, my little brother running away and me sat at the table laughing maniacally as i buy 2 more hotels

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RingoStar
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 12:05pm UTC

Only in America:
1.) Do we watch a ball drop on New Years
2.) Let Groundhogs tell us when spring is coming
3.) Prank people on the first day of April
4.) Carve faces on big orange fruits called pumpkins
5.) Watch the president pardon a turkey before feasting
6.) Trample over eachother to get good deals on gifts
7.) Keep Christmas decorations up until May
8.) Don't use the metric system, like the rest of the world
9.) Laws like: it's illegal for a tenant to bite his landlord.
10.) Do we have holidays like: National wiggle your toes day
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 22, 2013 1:26pm UTC

christmas list:
killer eyebrows
a boyfriend
anything edible really
selfie skills

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 21, 2013 3:26pm UTC

Christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?”
“a sense of purpose”

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 22, 2013 1:28pm UTC

yeah so i was at my friends house (hes a guy) and his parents weren’t home so we broke into his dad booze cabinet and started drinking. we ended up cudding and watching re-runs of full house, and he told me he loved me and i was like youre just drunk and he said ‘yeah but im not saying it because im drunk. im saying it as fact, it is 54 degrees outside, the ocean is salty, and i love you’ and i was like dayum son and thats the story of how i lost my virginity.
OH GOD

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 21, 2013 5:16pm UTC

It's almost time to not get kissed under the mistletoe and to not get kissed on New Years.

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伤*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 1:47pm UTC

hanging out with friends means sitting in my living room and
asking each other "so what do you want to do" for a few hours
and then it’s 11pm and it’s too late to do anything

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 23, 2013 4:04pm UTC

i never understood how in movies the parents didnt believe in Santa but he was actually real like who the f-ck did the parents think put the presents under the tree like what

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happiest*
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 2:28pm UTC

Me most of the year: Want that. Want that. Want that. Me near my birthday & Christmas: I CANNOT THINK OF A SINGLE THING I WANT.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 138 points

happiest*
posted a quote
September 18, 2013 2:11pm UTC

*asks mom if she can buy something for me in september*
"no christmas is coming"

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Breeze
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 6:06pm UTC

uGLy CHRiSTMaS SWeaTeRS
are not ugly. they're freaking adorable.
Format by Breeze

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伤*
posted a quote
December 21, 2013 4:03pm UTC

the main thing i hate about christmas is the fact i'm too poor to buy lovely gifts
for all the sweet people in my life that deserve them

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Breeze
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 7:03pm UTC

❄ I'm dreaming of a white christmas ❄
↟_↟_ ↟
_↟_↟
_↟↟
↟
.. -
\ /____
Breeze

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 26, 2013 3:01pm UTC

i hope santa didn’t put coal in too many children’s stockings this year it’s a non-renewable source of energy and we need to think about the future of our planet

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伤*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 1:22pm UTC

i am freezing someone please cuddle me
or set me on fire either is fine

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WeirdKid.*
posted a quote
December 7, 2013 10:07am UTC

*puts a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I am the star*

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happiest*
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 2:16pm UTC

Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year

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Best Christmas Quotes Ever