Best Canada Quotes This Week

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 9:54am UTC

If countries were students
Australia: The class clown who makes everyone laugh
The United States: The jock who loves themselves and everyone secretly hates
Canada: The nice person who offers to show you around on your first day
England: The hot boy everybody wants to bang because he's a gentleman
New Zealand: Australia's little brother who is the only one who thinks Australia sucks
France: The romantic playboy who hangs around England too much
China: The overly smart kid who puts his hand up for every question
Russia: The scary large kid that nobody talks to because they'll probably get stabbed

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 25, 2013 4:39pm UTC

New Zealand is basically
Australia's Canada

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jessicabliss
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 5:50pm UTC

I always think of Canada as being the lovechild of England and France
after a drunken one night stand and England just left it to grow up with
its big brother America who was like the rebel of the family. And Canada
wanted to be exactly like America but ended up being the nicer one who
makes friends with everyone easily.

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yourcool
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 1:01am UTC

when i erase a word with a pencil,
where in the world does it go?

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 5:54pm UTC

Last summer my family went to Ontario on our way to Iowa and at border
patrol the Canadian border patrol dude was being rude to my parents and kept saying these really sassy things so I muttered under my breath, "I didn't think I ordered a side of sass with my fries." and that is the story of how I got my family held up at border patrol and got part of our car searched.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 22, 2013 9:09pm UTC

Last summer I went to Iowa to visit family and me and my family drove
there. On the way there, we went through Canada. On the way back to the States, when we were going through American border patrol, the border patrol guy was like, "So where are you guys headed?" and my dad said Iowa and the border patrol dude just went, "What are you going to do in Iowa? Look at corn?" and I have never laughed harder in my life.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 15, 2013 10:19am UTC

This is an actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10.10.1995.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 defrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Reommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atalantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change our course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter measures will e undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call

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уσυαяєѕσνєяувєαυтιfυℓχχ*
posted a quote
September 2, 2013 8:06am UTC

I'm so bored
Because the majority of people on Witty
Live in the USA or Canada
And they're at school
And I live in London
And school hasn't started yet
And I'm so bored.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
August 14, 2013 6:31pm UTC

My mom just came back from her trip to Canada.
Do you know what she brought back for me?
A 40 mL bottle of maple syrup

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 9:45pm UTC

Happy Canada d'eh

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capsized*
posted a quote
August 5, 2013 2:59pm UTC

did you kno that 10 million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from quebec
10 million pounds
1/3 of the government’s reserve
like.
how do you even steal 10 million pounds of maple syrup.
where do you hide it.
what would you even do with it

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Everybodydotheflop
posted a quote
July 5, 2013 10:31am UTC

*Canada Day*
Witty: *nothing*
*4th of July ('MURICA DAY)*
Witty: *posts 86644237597g654uytui74534675877 quotes*
Me: B-But... Canada is awesome

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Tori-bird *
posted a quote
August 4, 2013 8:22pm UTC

did you know that 10 million pounds of maple syrup was stolen from Quebec?
10 million pounds!!
1/3 of the governmet's reserve.
like how do you even steal 10 million pounds of maple syrup?? where do you hide it??
what woukd you even do with it??
but the one thing that i would like to know:
why does the Canadian government even have a maple syrup reserve?!

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Overcast-Kid*
posted a quote
April 4, 2013 3:04pm UTC

ALMOST ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN CANADA.
rahh.
im so alone!!
RAH ALONE.
You best buy me a souvenir
how the fudge do you spell that.
souvenier?
soovineyer... noooope.
I MISS YOUUUUUU GUIESSSSSSS!!!
tell errbody I say HAI!
and that I love you and miss you and
HATE YOU COS YOU WENT TO SOME FOREIGN COUNTRY WITHOUT YOUR FAVORITE LITTLE WEIRDO. (thats me, btw)
BUT I STILL LOVE YOU.
canada.
really.
GAWD.
SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE CANADIANS OUT THERE, KEEP UP THE KINDNESS.
k....
alone
sigh.
I have had like no social interaction throughout this whole trip.
forgetting what its like to speak with other people.
alone.
Anyway, have fun un
MONTREAL.
probably didnt spell that right either.
eh.

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Tori-bird *
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 9:33pm UTC

soooo....
does Canada have an amry,
or do they just send herds of moose after their enemies??

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_Omegle_
posted a quote
August 9, 2013 4:00am UTC

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I have one sock on.
Stranger: I have no socks on.
You: why?
Stranger: im in my bed.
You: Oh, that makes sense. I don't wear socks in bed either.
Stranger: where do you live?
You: Canada.
Stranger: WE KICKED YOUR A.S.S. IN HOCKEY B.TCH! AND WE DONT EVEN LIKE HOCKEY HERE!
You: I don't watch hockey, so it's ok.
Stranger: We are offically better than you at everything. FACT.
You: I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY HEALTH CARE PLAN!
You have disconnected.

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mtndewhm*
posted a quote
August 9, 2013 6:17pm UTC

I just realized that I'm almost at 100 followers.
So, my loyal followers, I think we should do somthing. AND SINCE I AM YOUR RULER YOU MUST LISTEN.
We should all just go to like Canada and eat Poutine.
Ok?
Let's do it.

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Music Is My Freedom*
posted a quote
February 8, 2013 6:49pm UTC

Guys, I'm in Canada, and I just went outside for some grocery shopping, and let me just say...
ASDFGHJKL; THERE'S SO MUCH SNOW!!!!!!

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*silvergirl*
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 4:23pm UTC

&& who here lives in Canada

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kowhyda*
posted a quote
May 30, 2013 10:03am UTC

Sister: Which one do you like better? English or math?
Me: Canada!
Sister: WHAT DOES CANADA HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!

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Best Canada Quotes This Week