i live my life through
phases of despising myself and loving myself unconditionally.
whilst the latter probably seems better in theory, i'm
questioning to what extent it makes me happy. whilst i'm
feeling good about myself and my appearance, i want others to be
loud about how they like me too and often that doesn't
happen, which disheartens me and i give up liking myself because
no one else does.
seafoam* · 7 years ago
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reply
I, too, have random, temporary spurts of confidence every now and again that are borne of others' praise and kept alive by it. My good feelings about myself fade and die when there's a cessation in the kind words. But when you wholeheartedly (and, as you said, unconditionally) love and appreciate yourself and all you have to offer, you don't need anyone else's confirmation that you possess those positive qualities, because you're fully aware of their existence yourself, and occasional recognition from others is merely nice, not necessary. So maybe you're like me and haven't yet achieved true contentment or even pride in who you are, but your self-esteem skyrockets and plunges depending on your mood depending on acknowledgment. It's not the healthiest way to live, but it's not unchangeable either.