I suppose- he's told me he loves me once, while hugging me why didn't he look me in the eyes and say it the way my ex did. I said it back after thinking about what I just heard. 

I got lost once in a place literally full of a bad crowd, and he dropped me home. Random kind act. Its raining, he makes me take the skytrain. Because it's too dangerous, doesn't call to ask if I'm doing okay, whether I made it home after he gets home nothing. I get home at 11:20. When I was dropped off on the sktrain at 10.

We don't discuss my occupation anymore, it's a thing of the past. My parents have met him, I've met his. Even been to his house dozens of times. Everyone including me is saying lets get married. He. He told me he's used to being the baby of the family. That's why he doesn't rush. I ask my gut right now why he does not discuss marriage or give me a date like normal couples do. He is unsure.

Why doesn't he text me the way I text him constantly. If things don't work out with him, the fact that my parents are involved now - they're going to end up finding somoen for me because they're going to think that I'm not good at it. What happens to him, will happen to him after that it can't be any of my concern.

I don't want to hurt myself again, I'm hurting now. Questioning weather this is a real relationship, does he love me if so? why doesn't he look me in the eyes, why doesn't he talk about marriage, why when i bring up marriage he gets so f'n weird. 

Why all of a sudden is he saying that I'm perfect appearance wise when before he used to say 24 inch waist is ideal, he straight up said 2 days ago on the phone i need to do something about my acne and stop eating junk food. 

As of now, I'm talking to him less and less everyday.  It's his turn to make things right. I'm sick of trying. If he turns out to be a douche, hell every guy on the planet is a douche. Period. So whoever I end up with will be no better than him. Life. 

I told him today I'm not mad, why would I be. He said he doesn't know. *Munwhre bells are ringing*

I'm 23 now, still no ring on my finger. No career either so. hmm. I'm not that pretty right now either, so I might as well work on that while I'm ignoring him.

I won't be posting our picures on instagram anymore. I'm just going to make us a separate account. on ig