I.
Everyone is laughing at the glitter dripping from my fingertips.
Is a fúcked-up girl still a
fúcked-up girl if her hair is wrapped in a
ribbon? You look at my pink lips and you want to kiss all the
pretty things that tumble out of them. I’m swallowing my
own teeth instead of lying through them.
II.
I only feel real when you’re next to me. Is that stupid to
say? Never mind, never mind. There are bite marks under my knit
sweaters and if you ever saw them I’d tell you I’m
just trying to prove that I exist.
III.
I’m trying to make it charming because when it’s not,
no one will hold my hand. So what if I’m hurting too? All
you know is everything is sweet and funny here and I will work to
keep it that way.
IV.
You’ll find me in a coffee shop drinking your favorite
flavor latte and I’ll smile. There is a butterfly notebook
tucked into the pocket of my dress and you think it holds all the
answers. You think if you just keep standing next to me,
I’ll save you. I’ll sure as
héll try.
V.
Everything is aching from the effort of keeping myself upright.
I’m tired but no one wants to rub my back so I pick a
floral skirt from my closet and pull my hair back from my face.
There is perfume behind my ears and it smells like apples. I wish
you would kiss me first thing in the morning when I don’t
taste like mint. I wish you would walk next to me even if I
can’t tell you where you’re going.
what a manic pixie dream girl is really
thinking // fortesa latifi
