life update: i haven't been on here in 558 days that is
crazy. witty used to be my life. my ride or die haha. a lot has
happened in 558 days. 558 days ago i was being used and cheated on.
it's the opposite now- i'm in a relationship with probably the best
guy i could ever ask for. i hope one day i can show him that i
wrote this. i feel like i deff don't give him enough credit for
being amazing 24/7 like he is. he's also in college now and it can
be hard at times; but i know he would never do anything to hurt me.
i really actually think he could be the one. its crazy. it is also
crazy that i'm a senior in highschool looking back at my middle
school account on here (duhxitsxabbey) is quite embarrassing to say
the least ahahaha but looking back at those i never really thought
i would grow up. like ever. its insane. also something else
important has happened lately. something so sad i don't even know
if i can put it into words. my boyfriends best friend in the whole
wide world just recently committed suicide. that was honestly what
reminded me about this website. when i had suicidal thoughts in
middle school and when i would see others on here with them. i
would try to help them so hard and i'm pretty sure i was
successful. but really if you are having suicidal thoughts please
realize there are so many people that you mean the world to.
seriously. although i wasn't as close to chris as my boyfriend was-
i still knew him and had talked to him a few times. he was one of
the nicest people ever and would never do anything to hurt anyone.
the one time i kinda talked to chris was when my boyfriend (he
lives 40 mins away) came to pick me up one time and i got in his
car and chris was just sitting in the back. my boyfriend said
"abbey you know chris right?" and i said yes because his stepdad
was a teacher at my school and i just kinda knew who he was and so
then i talked to him the whole way back to grand island where him
and my boyfriend lived and when he got out i determined he was
easily one of the funniest people i knew. i asked andrew why chris
came along for the ride and he just said "oh i dont know. he was
just bored" and it was one of the funniest things i had ever heard.
chris, i don't know why you did this, no one does, but everyone is
so upset over it its crazy. we all love you. its going to be
terrible at your wake tomorrow. i hate seeing my boyfriend cry and
i dont like him seeing me cry either. and knowing there is nothing
i can do to make this better tears me apart. we all loved you chris
your family& your friends. i hope you realize that now when you're
looking down over us. TO ANYONE READING THIS: please live your
life. do not waste the gift of being alive. i garente you will scar
so many people its not worth it. at all. talk to someone if you are
feeling suicidal. its really not okay. people love you trust me.
you are worth it. and you are beautiful. and as for my loving
boyfriend- Andrew i love you so much and i know you will be able to
get through this. you are by far the strongest person i know and
are amazing at everything you do. i could not imagine my life with
out you and it means so much to me when you tell me i'm the first
girl you've ever said i love you to. to whoever read this huge
paragraph of random/important thoughts- thank you and i love you
rest in peace Christian Wallinder we will forever miss you ❤️
