Ten Responses to the
Phrase 'MAN UP'
1. Fûck
you.
2. If you want to question my masculinity, like a schoolyard
circle of curses, like a swordfight with lightsaber erections,
save your breath. Because contrary to what you may believe, not
every problem can be solved by “growing a pair.” You
can’t arm-wrestle your way out of chemical depression. The
CEO of the company that just laid you off does not care how much
you bench. And I promise, there is no lite
bêer
in the universe full-bodied enough to make you love yourself.
3. Man up? Oh that’s that new superhero, right?
Mild-mannered supplement salesman Mark Manstrong says the magic
words “MAN UP,” and then transforms into THE FIVE
O’CLOCK SHADOW, the massively-muscled, deep-voiced,
leather-duster-wearing super-man who defends the world from, I
don’t know, feelings. 4. Of course. Why fight to remove our
chains, when we can simply compare their lengths? Why step
outside the box, when the box has these
bad-âss
flame decals on it? We men are cigarettes: dangerous, and
poisonous, and stupid. 5. You ever notice how nobody ever says
“woman up?” They just imply it. Because women and the
women's movement figured out a long time ago that being
directly ordered around by commercials, magazines and music is
dehumanizing. When will men figure that out?
6. The phrase “Man Up” suggests that competence and
perseverance are uniquely masculine traits. That women—not
to mention any man who doesn’t eat steak, drive a pickup
truck, have lots of sêx
with women—are nothing more than background characters,
comic relief, props. More than anything, though, it suggests that
to be yourself—whether you, wear skinny jeans, listen to
Lady Gaga, rock a little eyeliner, drink some other brand of
light bêer,
or write poetry—will cost you.
7. How many boys have to kill themselves before this country
acknowledges the problem? How many women have to be assaulted?
How many trans people have to be murdered? We teach boys how to
wear the skin of a man, but we also teach them how to raise that
skin like a flag and draw blood for it.
8. Boy babies get blue socks. Girl babies get pink socks. What
about purple? What about orange, yellow, chartreuse, cerulean,
black, tie-dyed, buffalo plaid, rainbow…
9. I want to be free, to express myself. Man up. I want to have
meaningful, emotional relationships with my brothers. Man up. I
want to be weak sometimes. Man up. I want to be strong in a way
that isn’t about physical power or dominance. Man up. I
want to talk to my son about something other than sports. Man up.
I want to be who I am. Man up.
10. No.
--- Guante, Ten
Responses to the Phrase 'Man
Up'
