When I weighed 140 pounds, I wanted a gap between my thighs. I
wanted light to shine through that gap to get rid of the
darkness in my soul.
I wanted to be light.
I wanted to fly to get rid of the heaviness weighing down on my
bones.
I wanted to see the white on my rib cages so my mind
wouldn’t seem so black. But what nobody warns you is, the
only thing you are starving yourself of is happiness.
For every meal that goes down the toilet, a part of your sanity
goes with it.
You do not get lighter, darling.
You get even heavier.
Your bones get weaker and they will break at any second.
By thinking you can’t control anything else,
you try to control your food, your weight, your body.
But what they don’t tell you is you lose control of
everything.
You were so desperate for light that you let yourself be thrown
into the dark
just to watchthe flames of hell
burning.
