Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

totallynotacat*

Status: Cats are all I think about

Member Since: 14 Jan 2012 10:17pm

Last Seen: 1 Jan 2015 03:06am

Gender: F

user id: 263746

20 Quotes
443 Favorites
0 Following
44 Followers
Comment Points
Comments
Comments on Quotes
Comments by User
Quote Comments by User
Flair beta

follow block report

Up for league? Summoner name: Miss Goat 
Add me (:
  1. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2013 3:07pm EST
    Okay so today in math class some really rude and just overall nasty gal was saying, "Yeah no don't take my candy it's my reward after my workout" and all I could think was:
    You shouldn't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog. Oh wait a frickin second, yes you are you little tramp.

  2. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2013 2:26am EDT
    My mom's buying me pepper spray tomorrow,
    and I know that should make feel safer,
    but with my luck if I ever have to use it chances are
    I'm going to accidentally spray myself in the face.

  3. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    January 14, 2013 3:53pm EST
    So a couple days ago, I was chatting with my boyfriend and our friend xbox live. It went a little something like this..
    Me: Honestly, I never would have pictured me fitting in with our group. I've never really been a part of anything before.
    Omar: Well actually, Jasmin...you weren't really a part of our group until you started dating Felipe.
    Me: Oh...
    Felipe: Yeah you were never really part-
    I left the party right then and there.
    Ouch. Not even my own boyfriend will defend after being together for 8 months...

  4. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2012 3:35pm EDT
    Sometimes when I'm bored I like to pretend to be a llama and I walk around, spitting in peoples faces. Then I trot away slowly as if nothing happened.

  5. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2012 3:28pm EDT
    I just created a new computer virus that only targets Apple.
    It's a worm.

  6. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2012 3:24pm EDT
    Am I the only one who thinks Supernatural is the best show to have ever aired on television?

  7. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    May 1, 2012 10:12pm EDT
    How me and my best guy friend met:
    Him: Let's have makeup s*x. NOW.
    Me: ...but we're strangers, bro...
    Him: Ohey, our very first argument!
    Not sure if he made it up or not, but it was cute. :3

  8. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    May 1, 2012 9:09pm EDT
    Sometimes when I'm class, I wonder what my crush would think if I just dropped dead and they happened to see the paramedics carrying me out.

  9. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2012 9:56pm EDT
    I used to like dupstep,
    but then I took an arrow to the-
    arrow to the-
    arrow to the-
    WUB WUB WUBBY WUBBWUB WUB.

  10. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2012 9:40pm EDT
    Principal: "So, please explain to me again why on Earth you bit them."
    Me: "Well, they kept poking me with a stick..."
    Jokeception to whenxbothxourxcarsxcollide's joke. :3

  11. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2012 12:28am EDT
    That firetruckin' yes moment when you realize you're comepletely over someone.

  12. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    April 14, 2012 11:09pm EDT
    So today I was at Food 4 Less with my mom, waiting in line to pay.
    There was a little girl, about the age of 4 or 5, in front of us with her mother. She had a little stuffed brown chihuahua with her, it was so adorable. She started asking me questions and her mom said not to bother me, I told her mom it was fine. Me and the girl started playing with her little stuffed animal, I told her about Marshmallow and she seemed happy to hear about her. I then noticed the red rash-like looking marks on her skin and how thin her hair was. She pulled me away and told me, "You're older so you have to be smart. Please tell my mommy I'm okay and I don't want to see her crying because I'm sick. Tell her I'm okay, I just don't want to see her cry anymore."
    I then realized she had cancer. The thin hair and redness were just from chemotherapy. I had to keep a composed face and told her, "Sometimes mommys cry because they're scared. If you see her crying, hug her and let her know you're fine."
    It's amazing how this happened in a matter of a few minutes.
    This young girl is brave. I wish young Emily and her mother the best.

  13. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 30, 2012 1:53am EDT
    So the new Titanic 3D is out.
    Maybe they'll see the freaking iceberg this time.

  14. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 22, 2012 8:31pm EDT
    *Mom hands me phone to answer*
    Me: Hello?
    Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
    Me: I have no mother.
    Her: Well can I speak to your father?
    Me: Yeah, which one?
    Her: Which one is home?
    Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
    Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
    Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
    Her: So who's Antonio?
    Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
    Her: So Carlos was cheating?
    Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
    Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
    Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
    Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
    Me: I never said that.
    Her: Yes, yes you did!
    Me: No I didn't.
    Her: Y-yes! You did!
    Me: Did what?
    Her: Y-you-Nevermind have a nice day, goodbye.
    My mom's reaction=priceless.

  15. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 22, 2012 8:22pm EDT
    Mom: Why the hell did you ditch school? Were you eating weed or f-f*cking some guy?!
    Me: Mom, it's smoking weed, not eating, and no. I was at the park playing Pokemon...
    Her: WHAT? NO ONE GOES TO THE PARK TO PLAY POKEMON!
    FOREVER ALONE.

  16. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2012 1:20am EDT
    This Kony 2012 stuff is something else.
    I haven't seen this many white people interested about what's going on in Africa since Mufasa died.

  17. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 10, 2012 1:34am EST
    ‎On the phone
    Mom: What else do you want from the store?
    Me: Nothing-OH WAIT. Buy me lettuce!
    Her: Water?
    Me: NO. LETTUCE.
    Her: Why do you want water?
    Me: MOM I SAID LETTUCE.
    Her: Just plain water? Why? We have water at home.
    Me: MOTHER I SAID LETTUCE. L-E-T-T-laughs never freaking mind, just buy me my monster. hangs up
    mom calls back
    Me: Hello?
    Her: Did you mean butter?
    And this is why I love my hearing impaired mother. ♥

  18. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 8, 2012 9:22pm EST
    SAD STORY:
    Boy: Make me a sandwich.
    Girl: No.
    Favorite this quote if you cried.

  19. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2012 7:37pm EST
    Teacher: Now I want you to fold your paper lengthwise.
    Me: BRO, hamburger or hotdog?

  20. totallynotacat* totallynotacat*
    posted a quote
    March 7, 2012 7:07pm EST
    When my parents are asleep: Shh, they're sleeping.
    When I'm asleep: Hey, I think I should vacuum the entire house.

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2020 Witty Profiles