She waits till everyone is gone, when the house is empty to just break down and cry.
She grabs the razor digs it into her skin carves out the letters F-A-T because that's all this girl see's is fat. That's all she ever see's no matter what people tell her the voices say she's fat and she believes them. The voices than tell her how ugly and worthless she is, so why not cut deeper? No one would care, so she does. This girl cuts deeper and deeper with every cut. By now her sheets have blood stains all over them but it doesn't matter, you see no one cares for this girl, she has no one. The girl looks down at her arms and feels so ashamed and disgusted for letting those voices get to her yet again. So as her punishment she takes the razor and draws it to her thighs. But before she cuts she stares at them, and see's fat, so much fat. And that's when this girl lost it and broke down. She took the razor digging it into her skin not leaving an inch of skin uncovered with a freshly cut. The pains gone all she can feel is numb, numb all over. This girls mother walks into her room and see's this broken girl with tears streaming down her face, legs and arms drenched in blood and walks up to her and bends down to into her ear and whispers "cut deeper you useless piece of sh*t." and walks out. But you see this is normal for this girl, she tells herself she doesn't care, she's heard worse. And she has but she does care, this girl cares so much that's why she's so broken. So when her mother told her to cut deeper that's what she did she cut so deep she felt herself slipping away. But when this girl woke up she saw she was still here and that it was morning and she had to pretend everything was alright and put on a fake smile and go to school. This girl hates herself so much because she can't tell anyone how she's abused by her parents physically, mentally, and sexually because this girl, her parents once were amazing parents and she cared and loved them and she still does. That's why this girl can't go and tell anyone because there her parents no matter what they do or say to her she still loves them because when she was little they were the ones to kiss her goodnight and tuck her in and say I love you. And this girl is waiting for her parents to come back and say I love you one last time. Because that's all this girl ever wanted, was to be loved.
And this girl is me and doesn't know how much longer she can wait.