My friend: Muum I'm really ill :(
My friend's mum: Oh, sweetie! Poor you! You must stay home! Would you like some medicine? Do you need to go the doctor? You look pale. Your freezing! Here, have a blanket. Or two. Or three. Or four or five. Have some ice cream. Let me put some TV on for you. You look terrible. I better call the school and tell them your ill right away! Honey, be careful! Don't move, I'll get you some food!

Me: Muum, I feel ill. :(
My mum: GROW SOME BA11S AND GET THE HECK UP!