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me in the shower:

hello water you are warm be my friend
no water whAT ARE YOU DOING
THIS IS NEW ZEALAND NOT THE ARCTIC GODAMMIT
I AM GOING TO CRY-oh no wait that's better
time for shampoo
i got it in my eyes oh god no i'm going to be blind forever
get me a guide dog
or a guide boy
he can lead me around by his- no wait stop oh god what
i can see again anyway let's forget i ever thought that
I AM A WATERBENDER
I AM AN ARTISTIC WATER FOUNTAIN
I AM A GIRL FROM A PANTENE COMMERCIAL
*drops conditioner bottles*
no mum don't worry i haven't been murdered
let's get down to business to deFEAT the HUNS
i need to get out of this shower now
i don't want to get out of the shower
goodbye shower i am gone

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