Suicide Note from a while back.
Left for one reason, one and done. Can't continue under these cirumstances when it comes to pain. As you all will learn below.
I have loved and cried. I have laughed and died. I have smiled and lived. Time for my life to come to an end. There are many reasons I am doing this. One main reason is because pain is too much when burdened. I am tired of turning to others for help when I can't even do it myself. Everyone, I am sorry. To all, life is hardest when you don't give up. I have been there for others and they have been there for me, but it's now time I left it up to everyone to find themselves and to be happy. That's my wish from you all.
Don't stress over me, or cry over me. It'll only cause a greater deal of pain and sorrow. It's best to move on and to be happy from what you will learn. From what you have been grateful for and supported by. Those who love you will always stand by your side.
Life is worse than what can be imagined but then it can also get better.
I have stressed over a couple of people I have really loved and been there for. One is gone because he's dead. There are pacts made and this was one. Without one, how can the other continue with sorrow and pain more than what they have learned to do when all gets worse and hell seems to take over? Hell has already taken over.
To family and friends, I am going to miss you all. You all where the best and made me smile even when I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Mom, dad, Johnathan, Jay and Julie: You were the best family. You were strong and still knew how to stand your ground when everything got worse. We had some money troubles but we were still a tight family. We still understood even though we were dysfunctional and didn't know what the hell to do. Julie you were the greatest sister and I was able to learn to bond with you. Jay, older brother, funny ideas and everything. Johnathan, you will grow up without me, but you are young and still need to pursue what you think is best. Dad and mom, thank you for having such a wonderful family. Jay and Julie, even though we were half- siblings, you were my full siblings and that's what I counted on.
To my friends. Katie- best friend and funny. We had so many crazy times and you've seen me cry over what got worse.
Chris Warren: MY BEST FRIEND. You helped me through everything. The cutting and depression and made me see that life can be happy. You understood what it felt like to hurt and be upset.
Robert (Bobby) P- You were the funny but the sweet guy at the same time. You could change yoru mood. You knew just how to hold on and gave the perfect hugs in time when life got worse and worse. You stood by me when I had the near fatal cuttting incident and didn't give up on me.
George M- buddy! We did stupid stuff, we smiled and fooled around in Walmart because we were that funny. The random stuff I could say because of how you'd react and get scared? that was priceless!
Josh M- You helped me with enough pain and had me laughing when things got wrong at school. NEEDLES! haha! Pacifist. c:
To the rest of my friends. I'm sorry I can't be there to make your day with the stupid antics I'd pull or the pranks I'd tell you and how you'd laugh. The stupid jokes or the stupid stuff we'd do together. All of the weird crap we'd do in public and almost get yelled at or get kicked out of Walmart for. All of those fun times should be remembered, none of this sorrow and pain. If you remember sorrow and pain, you can't learn to be happy- I learned that from Chris.
It's time for my goodbye.
Y0UNGL0V3MURD3R
leggings
seafoam*
Porcupine
shaunadestinee
Raxin
ocean pixie*
jessiduh