Suicide Note from a while
back.
Left for one
reason, one and done. Can't continue under these
cirumstances when it comes to pain. As you all will learn
below.
I have loved and cried. I have laughed and died. I have smiled
and lived. Time for my life to come to an end. There are many
reasons I am doing this. One main reason is because pain is too
much when burdened. I am tired of turning to others for help
when I can't even do it myself. Everyone, I am sorry. To
all, life is hardest when you don't give up. I have been
there for others and they have been there for me, but it's
now time I left it up to everyone to find themselves and to be
happy. That's my wish from you all.
Don't stress over me, or cry over me. It'll only cause
a greater deal of pain and sorrow. It's best to move on and
to be happy from what you will learn. From what you have been
grateful for and supported by. Those who love you will always
stand by your side.
Life is worse than what can be
imagined but then it can also get better.
I have stressed over a couple of people I have really loved and
been there for. One is gone because he's dead. There are
pacts made and this was one. Without one, how can the other
continue with sorrow and pain more than what they have learned
to do when all gets worse and hell seems to take over? Hell has
already taken over.
To family and friends, I am going to miss you all. You all
where the best and made me smile even when I couldn't bring
myself to do it.
Mom, dad, Johnathan, Jay and Julie: You were the best family.
You were strong and still knew how to stand your ground when
everything got worse. We had some money troubles but we were
still a tight family. We still understood even though we were
dysfunctional and didn't know what the hell to do. Julie
you were the greatest sister and I was able to learn to bond
with you. Jay, older brother, funny ideas and everything.
Johnathan, you will grow up without me, but you are young and
still need to pursue what you think is best. Dad and mom, thank
you for having such a wonderful family. Jay and Julie, even
though we were half- siblings, you were my full siblings and
that's what I counted on.
To my friends. Katie- best friend and funny. We had so many
crazy times and you've seen me cry over what got
worse.
Chris Warren: MY BEST FRIEND. You helped me through everything.
The cutting and depression and made me see that life can be
happy. You understood what it felt like to hurt and be
upset.
Robert (Bobby) P- You were the funny but the sweet guy at the
same time. You could change yoru mood. You knew just how to
hold on and gave the perfect hugs in time when life got worse
and worse. You stood by me when I had the near fatal cuttting
incident and didn't give up on me.
George M- buddy! We did stupid stuff, we smiled and fooled
around in Walmart because we were that funny. The random stuff
I could say because of how you'd react and get scared? that
was priceless!
Josh M- You helped me with enough pain and had me laughing when
things got wrong at school. NEEDLES! haha! Pacifist. c:
To the rest of my friends. I'm sorry I can't be there
to make your day with the stupid antics I'd pull or the
pranks I'd tell you and how you'd laugh. The stupid
jokes or the stupid stuff we'd do together. All of the
weird crap we'd do in public and almost get yelled at or
get kicked out of Walmart for. All of those fun times should be
remembered, none of this sorrow and pain. If you remember
sorrow and pain, you can't learn to be happy- I learned
that from Chris.
It's time for my goodbye.