wittyfreak136's Favorites

the1975*
posted a quote
November 24, 2014 12:51am UTC

"he kissed her cheek and
then she knew, you could
get homesick for people
too."

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the1975*
posted a quote
November 24, 2014 12:55am UTC

life rules
-you are never as awkward as you
think you are
-you are never as annoying as you
think you are
-you are never as boring as you
think you are
-your compliments are never as
creepy as you think they are
-you are way more wanted than
you give yourself credit for
-chin up, dude

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

Leslie and Alli *
posted a quote
July 27, 2013 12:11am UTC

Why is it that
when i finally feel like my life is finally getting better
something has to come and screw it up..

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capsized*
posted a quote
May 19, 2013 11:11pm UTC

Bio Teacher: So the spêrm is surrounded by glucose.
Student: So sêmen is sugar?
Me: But it doesn't taste-
Bio Teacher:
Student:
Me:
Bio Teacher:
Student: Me:
Bio Teacher:
Student:
Me: Whoops...

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sammy*
posted a quote
May 20, 2013 4:28pm UTC

I see only one thing when I look at you.
what's that?
Perfection.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 20, 2013 5:24pm UTC

If you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying,
"Hey, wanna see what I made?"

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 20, 2013 2:22pm UTC

I want
morning and noon and nightfall with you.
I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses…
the smell of your hair,
the taste of your skin,
the touch of your breath on my face.

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Rajsonkar
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 8:46pm UTC

Call summaryBoy to boy!
00:00:59
Boy to mom!
00:00:50
Boy to dad!
00:00:30
Boy to girl!
01:23:59
Girl to girl!
05:29:59
wife to husband: not responding

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 8:54pm UTC

if i ever become famous i'm going to
create this fake account for every popular network out there and be a part of my own fandom and i will be like bffs with my fans and we'll fangirl over myself but they would have no idea it's me and then one day i would call them on skype and see the blood run out of their faces

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 1:56pm UTC

Sexual orientation: Not you.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 1:41pm UTC

I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, ya know?
Me: Oh, hey woah, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Oh my gosh, man, I didn't see you there
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you wanna move over some--you're descending right now into the shower stream and I don't want to drown you
Spider: Hey, thanks bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So, can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry, I'll just move over here
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.

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Designer_Skyline
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 12:27am UTC

i know that you're scared
of telling me something i don't wanna hear
but baby believe that
i'm not leaving,
you couldn't give me one
goodreason
♥

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 28, 2013 8:35pm UTC

Macklemore
-Has song about feminism
-has song about gay rights
-Has song about consumerism
-Has songs about drug abuse and alcoholism
-Has song about white privilege
-In all of them, he speaks realistically about the subject and includes his personal experience
And some song about thrift shopping gets popular

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happiest*
posted a quote
April 18, 2013 9:04am UTC

Son: Mom what's a gf?
Mom : If you're a good boy you're get one when you're older
Son : What if i'm not a good boy?
Mom : You'll get many

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jimmy365
posted a quote
April 7, 2013 10:06am UTC

what i mean
when i call a girl perfect is “wow look at how flawed you are, how broken and three dimensional and well lived. look how much of a disaster you are and how you are constantly torn between right and wrong and you make so many mistakes along the way wow look how human you are” so basically when i say she is perfect what i mean is thank god she isn't
- my guy friend
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 1:07pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
"HAHAHAHAHA you failed!"
"Yeah, so did your dad's condom."

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 29, 2013 2:14pm UTC

A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't
serve your kind here." So, the string goes outside, twists himself around, and ruffles up one of his ends and then walks back into the bar. The bartender asks, "Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out?" The string then replies, "I'm a frayed knot."

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 30, 2013 4:25pm UTC

Me: Is it weird to talk to yourself?
Me: No
Me: Yes it is, you stupid mother f//cker
Me: Don't you dare talk to me like that, you little sh//t

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 307 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 7:48pm UTC

Doctor: Are you se.x.ually active?
Me: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Me: ~transforms into a potato~
Me: ~rolls off into the sunset~

👍 this is good · read the comments · 318 points

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