wittyfood's Favorites

softballxwin27
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 8:50pm UTC

The ocean gets its saltiness
From the tears of misunderstood sharks who just want to cuddle.

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TVQuotes
posted a quote
July 27, 2012 1:28pm UTC

Spongebob #6
*in a huge mattress store.*
Spongebob: I've never seen so many mattresses.
Patrick: Yeah.
Spongebob: How many do you think there are?
Patrick: *Looks around* ...... Ten.
Spongebob: Cool
Follow me I follow back~

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I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 8:15pm UTC

Plot twist: Bella cheats on Edward and he moves out.

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defe4ted
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 8:28pm UTC

♚
KEEP
CALM
AND
HAKUNA
MATATA

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lynskywalker
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 9:09pm UTC

Whenever someone says "you just made my day" it makes my day :)

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JustAnotherWittyGuy
posted a quote
July 26, 2012 9:21pm UTC

you: hey sexy
*relationship lasts 2 months*
me: goodmorning beautiful, I missed you.
*relationship lasts 2 years*
nmf - i follow back ^.^

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ashleyy_mariee
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:27pm UTC

Me: I'm hungry.
Fridge: I don't give a sh/t
Cabinet: Don't look at me.
Freezer: lol, you like ice?

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Abiageal M*
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 1:37pm UTC

3 words
8 letters
say them and i'll be there
I Got Food

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ash10450*
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:11pm UTC

Life - Nobody gets out alive!

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emma_watson23
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:39pm UTC

harry potter fact #1
Ron's patronus is a Jack Russel Terrier, which are known for chasing otters. Hermione's patronus happens to be an otter.
fave for more

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kayleebasketballlover25
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:24pm UTC

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know life is really, really tough for the visually impaired.

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xxsuperfanxx
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:30pm UTC

Theres always that one girl
Thats obsessed with horses
nmq/nmf
i follow back(:

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emma_watson23
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:30pm UTC

a stranger stabs you
in the front;
a friend stabs you
in the back;
a boyfriend stabs you
in the heart;
but best friends
only poke eachother
with straws

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

abbs0lutelysoftball
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:52pm UTC

single forever?
no problem.
no fights,
no heartbreak,
no tears,
no worries.
I got my pillow pet.

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nialllover1
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:53pm UTC

Cool story bro.
Tell it again.

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Natsuo44
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 2:55pm UTC

Distant Family and older relatives: Oh you're so pretty. You look just like your grandmother when she was your age. Beautiful.
Cousins: Go put on some make up and a cute top so we can go out.
Brothers: You better tell those boys to keep their distance
Boys: Poke it. OH MY GOSH IT MOVED! RUN, MAN, RUN!
Me: ...

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