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whatiexpect

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
May 3, 2012 9:14pm UTC

the next time you're sad,
just imagine a t-rex trying to:
- put on a hat
-paint its house
- play the guitar
- eat soup with a spoon
- floss its teeth
- play the flute
- row a boat
with those tiny little dinosaur arms.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 40 points

thecookie1997
posted a quote
April 27, 2012 3:11pm UTC

Johnny and Marrissa, sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes the abrupt, tragic miscarriage.
Johnny leaves Marissa, and takes the tree.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 557 points

cropacuddles22
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 6:17pm UTC

Dear teachers,
Stop interrupting my daydreaming time
Sincerely,
I wasn't ready for that question!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 400 points

StartingOver
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 2:58pm UTC

Me: I'm actually satisfied with my life right now.
People: We're gonna be annoying!
School: Here, do these 489456 projects!
Face: Now looks like a good time to grow pimples!
Mother Nature: It's time for your monthly gift!
Me: Ha, nevermind.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 229 points

伤*
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 2:13pm UTC

" It hurts seeing a girl cry,
I want to comfort them as long as i can
or i'll end up crying too."
- Zayn Malik ♥
format credit to OneDirection

👍 this is good · read the comments · 370 points

LiviLover13
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 4:38pm UTC

*A boy or girl dies in a movie*
Me: Ehh. they probally daserved it.
*Dog dies in a movie*
Me: WTF.. WHO EVER WROTE THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO GO TO HELL!

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foreverme1331
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 5:08pm UTC

♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
If your going to judge anyone, you better make sure your perfect first..
these my friends, are words to live by<3
♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
Format by twilightgirl995

👍 this is good · read the comments · 413 points

Kirby16
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 4:11pm UTC

Boy: I'm gonna wear the same shirt everyday this week!
Society: that's fine! we love you anyway!
Girl:Can I wear this shirt, I wore it last week?
Society: OH MY GOD NO! ARE YOU STUPID. THAT'S UNNACCEPTABLE. KILL YOURSELF.
wtf. anyone else notice this?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 516 points

IgotSwag11
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 12:08pm UTC

One Direction Fact Number 31
Once At A Signing, A Blind Girl Said To Zayn, "even though i cant see, your beautiful to me" That Was The First Time A Fan Made Him Cry
nmf
m
m
Format by Sandrasaurus

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 317 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 626 points

GreenMariLoves
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 4:08pm UTC

A girl and a guy are on a motorcycle
Girl: This is really scary, slow down!
Guy: No, I'm having too much fun!
Girl: Please stop!
Guy: First hug me
Girl: *hugs*
Guy: Tell me you love me
Girl: I love you, can you slow down now?
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me
Girl: *puts on helmet*
Next Day's Headlines:
There was an accident involving a motocycle accident. There were two people riding the motorcycle at the time of impact. The vehicle was speeding out of control and drove off road and into a building. Only one of the two people died.
What Really Happened:
Half way through the ride the guy noticed that the brakes were gone, but he didn't want to scare the girl. So he got her to hug him one last time, and to know that she loved him. He got her to wear the helmet so that if they did crash, that she would survive, although that meant that he had to die...
♥
NMQ

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pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 7:08pm UTC

My little brother
wrote my dad a note for his birthday. It said;
"Thank you dad for making me food so I don't die."

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ThisIsMyEscape
posted a quote
April 26, 2012 2:29pm UTC

"I walked through the hallway holding my wrists,
hoping no one will see me like this.
He looks at me, scared what he'll find.
He never thought I had these things in mind.
He asks me, "...is there any more?"
Looking at him with tears in my eyes I whisper a simple reply...
"ever wonder what bracelets were for.?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 623 points

friendz0ned
posted a quote
April 24, 2012 6:29pm UTC

Thomas Edison dropped out of school after 3 months of formal education.
Benjiman Franklin dropped out at age 10.
Bill Gates dropped out during his junior year of college.
Albert Einstein dropped out of high school at age 15.
Walt Disney dropped out at age 15.
Steve Jobs dropped out of college after one semester.
Mark Zuckerburg dropped out of Harvard.
i'm on the right track.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 227 points

Mafinha
posted a quote
April 24, 2012 12:20pm UTC

Lets face it;
English is a crazy language.
There is no EGG in EGGPLANT nor HAM in HAMBURGER; neither APPLE nor PINE in PINEAPPLE. ENGLISH MUFFINS weren't invented in ENGLAND. QUICKSAND can work SLOWLY, BOXING RINGS are SQUARE, and a GUINEA PIG is neither from GUINEA nor is it a PIG.
And why is it that WRITERS WRITE but FINGERS don't FING, GROCERS don't GROCE and HAMMERS don't HAM? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make AMENDS but not one AMEND? If TEACHERS TAUGHT, why didn't PREACHERS PRAUGHT? If a VEGETARIAN eats VEGETABLES, what does a HUMANITARIAN eat?
In what other language do people RECITE at a PLAY and PLAY at a RECITAL? We SHIP BY TRUCK but SEND CARGO BY SHIP. We have NOSES that RUN and FEET that SMELL. We PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE in a PARKWAY. And how can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
We have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your HOUSE can BURN UP as it BURNS DOWN, in which you FILL IN a form by FILLING OUT, and in which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON. And, in closing, if Father is POP, how come mother's not MOP?
credit: 9gag/gag/3968526

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heysafiahere99
posted a quote
April 24, 2012 3:07pm UTC

Oh, so you're "naturally beautiful?"
Mind if I test it with a wet wipe ?

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jbean0811
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 8:44pm UTC

not ur usual jack and jill
jack and jill went up the hill to some marjuana.
jack got high and dropped his fly and said hey do u wanna. jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. but jill forgot to take her pill and now they have a son.
:P

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pigglywiggly
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 3:21pm UTC

me: better check my phone for messages from friends
me: *after checking phone*
me: better get friends

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TheArtsyWolf
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 12:53pm UTC

Am I the only one....
Who, after reading a good book about romance and
action (Hunger Games) feels as if their life is so empty
and lacking any excitement?
So now I'm gonna be an actor ;)

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kyotokitten
posted a quote
April 21, 2012 11:41am UTC

Interviewer: You seem like a bowl licker
Louis: A ball licker?
- One Direction.

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