sarahelyse's Favorites

xashleyx01
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 8:17pm UTC

~• ~•
~• ~• ~•
~• ~•
First known picture of Michael Phelps.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1172 points

Ohhey_ilikeyourface
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 4:36pm UTC

Lil Bro: I like... *slight pause*
Me: You like wha-
Lil Bro: BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE...
Me: Uhh, wha-
Lil Bro: ALL YOU OTHER BRUTHAS CAN'T DENY...
Me: Um, Dad-
Dad: THAT GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YO' FACE, YOU GET...
Me: Ah, what the hell.
All of Us: SPRUNG!
Mom walks in: What the heck is going on?
Dad: Oh. My. God. Becky. Look at her-
And THAT, my friends, is how my dad got his first b*tchslap.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 552 points

_BadLuckBrian_
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 4:07pm UTC

CALLS 911.
VOICEMAIL.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 478 points

oursong
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 7:38pm UTC

Me: Hello, 911? It's an emergency. There must be at least a thousand bodies out here.
Officer: Where are you?!
Me: THE GRAVEYARD.
Officer: ...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 809 points

mostwouldbehappy
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 5:36pm UTC

*MADAGSACAR*
Me: oh my god, my period is late.
Me: AM I PREGNANT?
Me: Wait...
Me: Still a virgin.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I must be carrying the next baby jesus.
Me: Seems legit.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 727 points

Wanteddd
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 3:45pm UTC

I sent out a text saying;
'hey i lost my phone, can someone call it?" 10 people called me.
I need smarter friends.
nmq/nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 705 points

ChickFlick
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 3:27pm UTC

Seeing boys play with
little kids is probley the
most attractive thing ever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 856 points

subtlysam
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 2:34pm UTC

Drake & Josh
Josh: Which locker do you think is Megan's?
Drake: Gee, I don't know, maybe it's that one she's standing in front of putting books into!
Josh: You know, sometimes your sarcasm hurts!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 971 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 949 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
June 20, 2012 9:01am UTC

Dutchman: Owww-ooooooooo
Spongebob: Heh heh heh heh heh
Patrick: Leedle leedle leedle lee

👍 this is good · read the comments · 376 points

AustinH
posted a quote
June 20, 2012 11:39am UTC

Megan: Did I ask for your life story? No.
24 hours ago · comment · like
2 people like this
Taylor Now this is a story all about how...
3 hours ago · 2 people like this
Taylor My life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd liked to take a minute
just sit right there.....
3 hours ago · 3 people like this
Taylor In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I
spent most of my days. Chillin out, maxing, relaxing all cool, And all shooting
some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to
no good. I got in one lil figght and my got scared and said "You're moving
with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"
3 hours ago · 8 people like this

👍 this is good · read the comments · 534 points

cuutiepaants
posted a quote
June 18, 2012 9:43am UTC

True Story;
Him; Wanna Skype ?
Me; Sure!:)
Him; Okay, now?
Me; Yeah, but just a warning. I'm in my pjs with no makeup on.
Him; annnnd??
Me; I look Beastly...
Him; whoops baby; learn how to spell because you spelt beautiful* wrong!:)
*God I Love Him!<3*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 25 points

x_damaged_x
posted a quote
April 23, 2012 6:04pm UTC

For everyone reading this, here's your princess; ♥
people always say "make a bald princess for cancer girls" but what about a lesbian princess? Or a gay prince? What about a princess in a wheel chair? Or one that isn't perfect. A princess who actually has to work to get a guy, not just sleep & look good. How about a princess that isn't skinny for those curvy girls, or ones that have emotional problems? Maybe a princess that doesn't feel beautiful, or a princess that's a "nerd." I could go on for forever about this, because every girl that's unique in her own way deserves to be a princess, she deserves to relate to someone, to know even though she's imperfect...she's perfect♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

YouAreLovedXo
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 6:22pm UTC

Having a rough day?
Put your hand over your heart. Feel that?
That's called purpose.
You're here for a reason.
Don't give up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

coraarosee
posted a quote
April 22, 2012 6:46pm UTC

if you see this, you need to promise me you won't kill yourself tonight.
keep holding on, you're not alone.
you're stong, and you're beautiful.
i believe in you and i care.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points