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sammyangel

Chelsea_Loves_You
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 3:59pm UTC

So I Went To Starbucks Today
and the man asked me what's my name and then I said "Georgia Rose" and then he was like "Is your daddy a dentist" and then he gave me gum and was like "I've heard you got a dirty mouth" and then the guy next to him whispered "I got a dirty mouth."
Wow, all I wanted was my Caramel Frappuccino, but it had to turn into a musical.

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sammyangel
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 2:25pm UTC

when i was younger,
i thought 'therapist' was 'the rapist'
so i read out in school
"The rapist said; 'Be with you in a minute'"

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dolph*
posted a quote
June 22, 2013 9:48am UTC

If you're my boyfriend you're not allowed to:
• Have candles on your birthday cake
wtf are you wishing for all your wishes came true when you met me
• Kiss another female besides me
You wanna say goodbye to grandma? You better chest bump her and call it a day, boy
• Speak to other females
idc if you're lost and need directions you better get on your knees & ask Jesus to guide you or somethin
• Own a GPS/SatNav
what' you tryna' do? Navigate your way out of this relationship?
• Buy glasses or contact lenses
why do you need your vision to improve? You seeing someone else?
• Sneeze in public
girls'll be like "bless you" wtf girl you're already blessed you have ME
• Eat Jalapenos/Chillies
they're hotter than me
• Buy lightbulbs
i'm the only person that can light up your world. THE ONLY ONE
• Listen to another girl's relationship problems
a shoulder to cry on becomes a d/ck to ride on
• Watch animal planet
you might see your ex
• Wear shoes with laces on
you might trip and fall in love with someone better than me, better wear them sketcher slips ons
• Be good at maths
find ya "X" and you gonna wonder "Y" you're single again
• Drink milk
Whatchu need the strength for? Tryna get the strength to leave me?! No not today
• Spray Lynx in public
next thing you know hoes gonna be poppin' out beggin' for his d/ck.

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sarnotsav
posted a quote
June 3, 2012 5:37pm UTC

/\
/\ /\ / \
/\ / \ /\ / \ /\ / \
/ \ /\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \______________________________________________________
\ / \/ \ / \ /\ / \/ \ /
\/ \/ \ / \/ \/
\/
If your life doesn't have both ups and downs,
your dead.
mf

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sunnynicky
posted a quote
July 24, 2012 12:05am UTC

♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
My dentist told me once
that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was not hurting you doesn’t mean you did not notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Therefore, move on and let go.
♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥▬♥
Format by twilightgirl995

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AnnieeB
posted a quote
July 4, 2012 8:18pm UTC

Admit it. You were confused
as to what "nmf" meant when you first got a Witty.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 3:00pm UTC

"I think I missed out on the “neat and cute handwriting” gene that every girl seems to have and this is unfair"
Intelligent people have messier handwriting because they think fast. When you think and process things faster, you can also write quicker, but it’s going to be sloppy. People with neat writing are usually (no offense) not as smart. So, I embrace my sh.tty writing.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
December 7, 2011 3:27pm UTC

The worst thing a boy could do to
a girl?
Well personally, I think it's to ignore her
while she is loving you
with all her heart
-Liam Payne
format ThatsSoMeee ♥

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OMGIMATACO
posted a quote
October 28, 2011 5:55pm UTC

Shutting the door
To force your pet into
spending time with you.

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 1:58pm UTC

1. i woke up
2. i went to school
3. i saw him
4. i ran into him and i hugged him
5. i kissed him
actually, the correct order is 2, 3, 4, 5, 1.

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jessdillon1234
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 8:56pm UTC

I was helping out with one of the preschool classes at my dance studio and this was a legit conversation that went on:
teacher: did anyone see there mommy or daddy watching the inagoration?
kid one: whats that?
kid two: its when you sleep during day
me: thats nocturnal
kid three: arn't bats nocturnal?
kid two: no antolopes are
kid four: nuh uh antolopes a fruit
kid five: i know where babys come from!!
*everyone gets quiet*
kid five: *whispering* cleevland.
entire class: *gasp*
*true story

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FallenAngel*
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 12:10pm UTC

So if never is short for 'not ever'
And blush is short for 'blood rush'
Does that mean studying is short for 'student dying'

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Waffle
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 6:00pm UTC

I think its time to shave my legs
"MOTHER, FETCH THE LAWN MOWER"

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blankwolf*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 10:21pm UTC

How to tell who has been stalking your Facebook profile.
1. Go to Facebook.com
2. Right click anywhere on the page.
3. Click "View page source"
4. Press CTRL + F and type "orderedfriends"
5. Copy the first series of numbers in quotation marks below it.
6. Open another tab, go to Facebook.com/(paste the number here)
7. The first number is the person that's been on your profile the most,
the second the second most, and so on.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

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qwerty40
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 2:42pm UTC

I tweeted "I hate feeling like I'm not good enough"
30 seconds later, my crush tweeted "You should never feel like you aren't good enough for someone"
WAS HE TALKING ABOUT ME?!

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heyitscooper
posted a quote
November 13, 2012 6:27pm UTC

I was gonna make a joke about sodium and hydrogen, but NaH.

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subtlysam
posted a quote
November 15, 2012 8:23pm UTC

see my crush, emily,
she really likes one direction...
niall is her favorite &
her birthday
it's in like 2 weeks
i am going to sing & play (guitar) to her one of niall's solos...
i'm thinking his newest solo
in little things...
good? or not good?
- sam
you might have seen this quote... & now i am doing it on tuesday, i am SO nervous, my emotions are going crazy but i have the song down perfect, i am giving her a rose after i sing/play guitar & asking her to date me, she will say yeah because she really likes me, she just doesn't know if i like her, this is how i am telling her! i will make a quote tuesday.
i am so nervous!
- sam

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yourcool
posted a quote
November 15, 2012 8:55pm UTC

"my boyfriend and i went on out ninth date
to see the new batman film. our dates so far can be summarised as follows:
dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner BATMAN."

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
November 15, 2012 3:23pm UTC

Here are some formatting tips for quotes:)
•use: http://www.patorjk.com/text-color-fader for cool color fades!
• to space the letters differently use:
<span style="letter-spacing: -1px;"> or
<span style"letter-spacing: 1px;"> you can change the numbers according to size/space
• to add a shadow effect, the code is:
<span style="text-shadow: blue 3px 3px 13px;"> you can change the color to any color you'd like.
•if you go change the color from: <span style="color: blue"> and you don't know what color to change it to, you can use the website: http://www.webmonkey.com/2010/02/color_charts/ and they have a ton of different colors! the color code will show up as something like #123456 , just replace it with "blue"
• If you want a background color use the code: <div style="background-color: COLOR GOES HERE;"> and put it at the very top of your codes.
I'm too lazy to do anymore and explain it, now try and experiment :D

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fuckyeahquotes
posted a quote
July 6, 2010 4:29pm UTC

click to see this quote

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