Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

samicrab

  1. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 10:22am UTC
    ~Going back to school from christmas break
    and realizing everyone has new clothes and
    haircuts and you still look like an animal~

  2. Marian* Marian*
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 5:30pm UTC
    That song on
    our iPod that
    we always skip
    but never delete.

  3. animallovers46 animallovers46
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    Nerd Girl Problems #4:
    When you love a song so much, you want to examine the metaphorical meaning.

  4. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 4:33pm UTC
    I imagine being God is a lot like playing an impossibly large game of Sims
    with the free will setting on and the only rule is you can't tell any of them what to do. You just have to stare at the screen and become increasingly angry when everyone continually makes stupid choices, like when they just stand in the middle of the bathroom for hours thinking about pancakes.

  5. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:47pm UTC
    ~At school~
    Teacher: and now you will be doing a 4 page essay, make sure to put 3 details per fact and also it has to be 1,000,000 words. If you have any questions just ask me at my desk
    Kid: *goes up to teachers desk*
    escuse me but i have a ques-
    Teacher: STFU AND GTFO

  6. Marian* Marian*
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 5:25pm UTC
    Strangers: Excuse me, please.
    Family: Let me through.
    Best friends: GET THE F*CK
    OUT OF MY WAY BlTCH!

  7. Marz_Barca Marz_Barca
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 2:58pm UTC
    "We can stay up late, swapping manly stories. Then in the morning, I'm making waffles." -Donkey

  8. MyWittyProfile MyWittyProfile
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 3:15pm UTC
    *Me when I'm not hungry*
    What will I eat when I'm hungry again?

  9.  † * † *
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 9:11pm UTC
    Mom: You have to come to the meeting for school.
    Me: Why? It's boring and they talk about boring stuff.
    Mom: They got extra large donuts there.
    Me: Let's go.

  10. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 10:30am UTC
    ~When a cute person that you don’t even know
    smiles at you~

  11. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:17pm UTC
    Admit it
    when something bad/unexpected happens you automatically mouth "sh/t"

  12. MexicanChicka MexicanChicka
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:30pm UTC
    Im not hiding anything
    But stop looking at my phone
    while im texting

  13. Alexwise Alexwise
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:31pm UTC
    Teacher: any questions?
    Me: yes, where do babies come from?
    Teacher: this is Spanish class Alex
    Me: oh sorry, ¿de donde vienen los bebes?

  14. ErinIsTheName* ErinIsTheName*
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 5:55pm UTC
    My sister had a school intruder drill today in school today. This is what our conversation was.
    My mom: where did you hide?
    Her: umm... In the closet.
    My mom: did anyone else hide with you in the closet?
    Her: Yeah Will!
    My mom: WITH A BOY!
    Her: Yeah! WITH LOTS OF BOYS!
    My mom: Oh my god, she had 7 minutes of heaven in Kindergarden!
    Me: Wow. She's 5 and gets more guys than me. -__-
    True Story.

  15. MyWittyProfile MyWittyProfile
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 3:33pm UTC
    I walked into the computer room to see two computers broken because someone punched them.
    Me: nnnnnOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BABIEESSSSSS!!!
    Friend: Danielle, get up. What is wrong with you?
    Me: WHY? THEY WERE SO YOUNGGGGGGGGGG.
    Teacher: get. off. the. floor.
    Me: but- but- but.
    Some boy: You like butts? *winks*
    Me: ew bye

  16. animallovers46 animallovers46
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 11:09am UTC
    Nerd Girl Problems #3:
    That unexplainable crush you have on fictional characters.

  17. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:18pm UTC
    I try not to comment on stupid quotes
    Because my knowledge confuses the illiterate peasants

  18. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 6:33pm UTC
    Those weird convos you hear in the hallways
    "haha and then he threw up!!"
    "omg he's SO HOT!"
    "and then my toilet was like GURGGLE GURRRRRGLE??"
    "I WAS LIKE GURLLLLL YOU TOO GOOD FOR HIM"
    "and then i was like bro, i don't wear no seatbelt!!"
    the 3rd and last sentence is real.

  19. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 7:07pm UTC
    I never run with scissors.
    Those last two words were unnecessary.

  20. Shanaynor Shanaynor
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 8:34pm UTC
    At home: COUGH HACK WHEEZE COUGH DIE
    At the doctors: .... I swear I'm sick.... Just gimme a sec....

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles