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runningfromzombies1

kristabff
posted a quote
September 22, 2013 12:35pm UTC

Relax!
Uh oh, there was an error when we tried to add a boyfriend to your life. Please try again.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 416 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 2:06pm UTC

Dear Spongebob,
you live in Bikini Bottom and you're super absorbent?
Sincerely, you're a tampon.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 65 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 2:01pm UTC

Oh, you're wearing Converse
with your prom dress? I bet no one's ever done that before.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 158 points

Cammie
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 1:25pm UTC

'I Don't Know What I Did But It Worked'
— A thrilling story about my academic life

👍 this is good · read the comments · 206 points

bye*
posted a quote
September 17, 2013 5:13pm UTC

I have so much respect for people who make dictionaries.
Someone’s job was to literally describe every word in the English language
and put it in a book,
like, if I had to do that it’d be so sarcastic and rude like
“sky: that blue f/cking thing over your head dumba/ss”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 279 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
September 17, 2013 7:23pm UTC

Teacher: If you lose your textbook it's a $75 fine.
Girl in my class: But you can, like, buy a shirt with that.
Me: Well for $75 at Burlington I bought 3 shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, a dresser, 2 dogs, a cat, 4 houses, and Alex Pettyfer.
Me: Now that's something to brag about.
Me: Burlington, Brag about it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 287 points

kristabff
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 8:33pm UTC

This kid in my grade posted
a picture of his mcdonald's cup with two straws on Instgram and he wrote:
"McDonalds Logic: gives you two straws when you order one drink"
and this other kid wrote underneath that caption:
"McDonalds Logic: gives you two chins when you order one Big Mac"
and i'm dEAD HOLY CRAP HAHA

👍 this is good · read the comments · 283 points

Yourbeautiful*
posted a quote
September 15, 2013 5:29pm UTC

- Are you an angel?
- No, why?
- Well my mum told me that those who have marked wrists are angels.
- I'm not an angel though.
- Of course you are. Mum said that only angels harm theirselves
because they don't like life on earth. This world is destroying
them so they try to return back home in heaven. They are too
sensitive to the pain of others and their own.
- You know, your mum is very wise.
- Thank you, she is also an angel but she has already returned home.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 357 points

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