monica14504's Favorites

monica14504

Jahyvie
posted a quote
December 24, 2012 2:02pm UTC

Heres to the kids who can state an opinion without freaking out.
Credit: Jahyvie

👍 this is good · read the comments · 132 points

LacedRibbon
posted a quote
December 24, 2012 7:36pm UTC

my laptop screen is brighter than my future.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 340 points

blankwolf*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 10:21pm UTC

How to tell who has been stalking your Facebook profile.
1. Go to Facebook.com
2. Right click anywhere on the page.
3. Click "View page source"
4. Press CTRL + F and type "orderedfriends"
5. Copy the first series of numbers in quotation marks below it.
6. Open another tab, go to Facebook.com/(paste the number here)
7. The first number is the person that's been on your profile the most,
the second the second most, and so on.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1562 points

JustMeh
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 1:39pm UTC

Not one person wished me a happy birthday today.
Which I suppose is fair, since it isn't my birthday

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1083 points

iridescentstorm
posted a quote
October 27, 2012 1:29pm UTC

Horror movies are always so stereotypicial. They're always in abandoned houses, hostpials/asylums, and hotels.
You know where I want to see a horror movie take place?
Walmart.
"Cleanup on isle 13."
"But there is no isle 13..."
mq/©iridescentstorm

👍 this is good · read the comments · 991 points

purdygirl
posted a quote
October 19, 2012 5:43pm UTC

A friend is supposed to be honest ,
Not keep secrets .
A friend is supposed to help you,
Not abandon you when you need them most .
A friend is supposed to open up to you ,
Not shut you out completely .

👍 this is good · read the comments · 52 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
October 18, 2012 8:34pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 151 points

yourcool
posted a quote
September 28, 2012 5:51pm UTC

can you do me a huge favor?
stand in front of my car, i need to test my breaks.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 552 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 2:50pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
U, R, 2, 6, C, I, 1, 2, 4, Q
Say it slowly. :)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 498 points

JustAnotherWittyGuy18
posted a quote
September 23, 2012 3:42pm UTC

Worse things that happened with music... #2
One day i was at the local coffee shop with my girlfriend (now ex),
I told her we had to talk....
Then marry me came on by train,
and she thought it was for her and started crying,
Then i was like uhm we have to break up...
It was intirely too awkward...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 507 points

Ineedmakyinme
posted a quote
September 27, 2012 3:30pm UTC

Dear 'boyfriend';
Application For Permission To Date My Daughter
Note: Please be prepared to submit additional information e.g. psychological profile, DNA samples and admission to polygraph exam.
1. Name:______________________________________ Date of Birth __/__/____
2.Height: __ft__in. Weight: ___Lbs. I.Q: __ GPA: __
3.Social Security Number: ___-___-____ Drivers License: State: _______ Number: _____________
4.Home address____________________ City: _____________ State_____
5: Boy Scout Rank: _________________
6.How fast can you run 40 yards: ____sec. Two Miles: ___min.
7.Church you attend: ___________________ How Often? _____________________
8.In 50 words or less, Explan what "DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" means to you:
_____________________________________________________________________________________.
9. In 50 words or less, Explain what "Late" means to you:
____________________________________________________________________________________.
10. Complete the following sentences:
a) If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the __________.
b) If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to have broken is ___________.
c) The one thing I hope this Application does not as is________________________________________.
d) In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered ___________________.
e)My greatest fear is____________________________.
11. What do you want me be if you grow up?_________________________________________.
12.How you ever been fingerprinted? Yes___ No___
13. Do you have any identifying marks? e.g. birth marks,scars, tattoos Yes___ No___
14.My dentist is __________________________________ City:_______________ State:______________
I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of Deah and or Dismemberment.
Signed:____________________________________
Thank you for your interest! Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not call, write or E-mail. Any attempts at contact during the processing of this application could be hazardous to your health and/or cause serious personal injury.
Sincerely,
Daddy's Orders

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1169 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
September 27, 2012 3:56pm UTC

DO YOU EVER
WISH YOU HAD
A SECOND CHANCE
TO MEET SOMEONE
AGAIN FOR THE
FIRST TIME?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1122 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
September 25, 2012 4:35pm UTC

"Hi. I'm Austin & I'm 11 years old
I'n taken by my gffff Amanda.
9.24.12 shes my everything<3333
but I still flirt with all the girls in my clas. shhh ;)
I go to parties every satarday .
but party at church on sunday!
I luvv jesus but I think I might be atheist.
I'm bisexual but I'd never touch a boy.
I'm prolife but my gurlfriend is pregnant.
She's having an abortion."
...... What did I just read?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1059 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
September 24, 2012 5:04pm UTC

Suicide doesn't end the pain
It just gives it to someone else.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1108 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
September 9, 2012 1:04pm UTC

99% of guys are attractive.
But, that other 1% always seems to go to my school.
And that is why I'm forever alone..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 209 points

KatieeLovesYouu
posted a quote
September 9, 2012 11:36am UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 238 points

Maddie_8
posted a quote
September 8, 2012 11:55pm UTC

Boys Suck
dont let them distract you from what is truely important
food.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 246 points

Travis Allred*
posted a quote
September 9, 2012 6:35pm UTC

Forrest Gump
Forrest: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and look at him]
Forrest: Id make a good husband, Jenny
Jenny: You would, Forrest
Forrest: But you wont marry me
Jenny: [sadly] You dont wanna marry me
Forrest: Why dont you love me, Jenny?
[Jenny says nothing]
Forrest: I'm not a smart man, but i know what love is

👍 this is good · read the comments · 632 points

MondayHater*
posted a quote
September 3, 2012 11:08am UTC

Me:It was a rainy night,we had no electricity,you were lost,you went into a haunted house and there were 2 stairs,the right and the left...which one did you take?
Friend:Uh...left
Me:so you went upstrairs and found 4 doors,which one of them would you go in?
Friend:The first one.
Me:You go in and find yourself in a hallway with 2 bedrooms,a grand masteroom or an apartment size room,which one do you go in?
Friend:Grand masteroom...
Me:Okay,you go in and see 2 bathrooms,a white one and a bla ck one,which one do you go in?
Fiend:White one.
Me:A murderer has locked you in..you have to chose which way to die,jump out the window,or sit in an electricity chair.
Friend:Umm,jump out the window?
ME:Too bad..you just died...you could have picken the electricity chair,there is no electricity...
Friend:.......

👍 this is good · read the comments · 964 points

yourcool
posted a quote
September 3, 2012 11:16pm UTC

you should introduce your upper lip
to your lower lip, and shut the f/ck up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 213 points

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monica14504