imseth's Favorites

Baseballisme
posted a quote
January 14, 2013 8:08pm UTC

I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs, but I would have made the IPhone charger a few feet longer.

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SomeRandomDude
posted a quote
January 14, 2013 8:22pm UTC

Mom: Why don't you go to your friends house?
Me: I don't have any
Mom: What do you mean you don't have any friends?
Me: Im a socially akward person
Mom: No honey you are not!
Me: Have you heard the phrase "socially awkward potato?"
Mom: Yes actually i have
Me: Im a socially akward onion. People look at me and they start crying
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Me: Exactly.

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LegendaryLettuce
posted a quote
January 14, 2013 9:18pm UTC

1. Open fridge, nothing to eat.
2. Open pantry, nothing to eat.
3. Lower standards and repeat.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 13, 2013 6:54pm UTC

there are mean parents
and then there are parents who
turn off the wifi at night
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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simplelove
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 5:31pm UTC

click to see this quote

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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KatieKayface
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 11:40am UTC

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MissTomlinson
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 3:12pm UTC

Harry: Why did the man sleep under the car?
Interviewer: I don't know. Why did he sleep under the car?
Harry: So he could wake up oily in the morning!
Louis: It's funny because oily sounds like early!
Louis: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? If anyone knows, don't answer cause that spoils it!
Niall: Snowpire?
Interviewer: Nice try, Niall.
Louis: It is in fact NOT snowpire, Niall... It's frostbite!
*claps*
Louis: See what I did there?
Liam: What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Interviewer: I don't know.
Liam: Bacon and legs!
Louis: Hahah!
Liam: What is the best thing about deadly snakes?
*silence*
Liam: They've got poisonality!
Louis: HAHAH, I LIKE THAT ONE!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 514 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 2:22pm UTC

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伤*
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 12:24pm UTC

WMYB: "You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or"
More Than This: "And as I walk up to your door my head turns to face the floor" Moments: "Shut the door, turn the light off"
She's Not Afraid: "But every time I tell her that I want more, she closes the door" Loved You First: "Knocking on your door and kissing you on the mouth"
Still The One: "Now I'm back at your door, you're looking at me unsure"
Change My Mind: “As I’m walking towards the do-o-or, I’m not sure”
The boys obviously like to sing about doors

👍 this is good · read the comments · 437 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 1:58pm UTC

1. i woke up
2. i went to school
3. i saw him
4. i ran into him and i hugged him
5. i kissed him
actually, the correct order is 2, 3, 4, 5, 1.

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celestialerror*
posted a quote
October 1, 2012 8:58pm UTC

"What's depression like?" He whispered in the darkness of the night.
"It's like you're drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing."

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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celestialerror*
posted a quote
December 31, 2012 10:17pm UTC

Dear 2013, please be kind.
If not to me, at least to them, especially him and her. She's so beautiful and never sees it, and I just want her to be happy. He's the best thing in my life and I need you to treat him right, okay? He doesn't deserve to be so sad. I don't care what you do to me; you can put me through hell and back, that's fine; just treat them right okay, please. Also, to those who feel lonely, depressed, who don't like what they see in the mirror; let them find the light, the happiness, okay? Please be kind to them, 2013.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 11:48pm UTC

Why do we call it "Truth or Dare" when we know
it's really "who do you like" or "awkward sexual task"

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

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BandG33k
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 12:49pm UTC

1912: Dracula used to drink the blood of virgins.
2012: He died of thirst.

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imseth