bingbongmango's Favorites

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 28, 2012 7:29pm UTC

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you your heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3205 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
February 12, 2013 11:10am UTC

Maroon 5?
I think you mean,
"Adam Levine and the guys who stand behind him."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 609 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 18, 2013 5:44pm UTC

omfG
SO TODAY IN
PHYSICS THIS GIRL’S
PHONE WENT OFF
AND HER RINGTONE
WAS SHINE
BRIGHT LIKE A
DIAMOND AND MY
TEACHER STOOD UP
AND SAID TURN
THAT THING OFF IF I
HEAR IT AGAIN
I WILL PERSONALLY
TRACK DOWN
RIHANNA AND EXPLAIN
TO HER THAT
DIAMONDS DO NOT
SHINE THEY REFLECT
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 977 points

TaintedCorruption
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 2:15pm UTC

Sister: What's a pedestrian?
Me: Ask mom.
Sister: I can't it sounds dirty.
Me: Fine...YOU'RE THE BIGGEST PEDESTRIAN I EVER SEEN!
Sister: MOM SHE CALLED ME A PEDESTRIAN.
Mom: But you are a pedestrain
Sister: *cries*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1115 points