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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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ThisIzSummer*
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 8:24am UTC

Celebrities walk on the red carpet because they're stars
Well, I walk on toilet paper...because I'm the shiz

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

lauralove
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 8:55am UTC

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad☺

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Alex12345
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 10:52am UTC

We are all mature until somebody
brings out the bubble wrap

👍 this is good · read the comments · 26 points

Fay*
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 12:16pm UTC

Mom: Why your room is always so messy?
Me:So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me,
they'll trip over something and die

👍 this is good · read the comments · 74 points

CauseSpock
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 7:30pm UTC

You know those random cravings you get
that just make you feel like a
35 year old pregnant woman

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

BannedIt*
posted a quote
February 1, 2014 7:03am UTC

Smile.It irritates those who wish to destroy you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

*ｓａｍｍｉ*
posted a quote
February 1, 2014 12:46pm UTC

I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned

👍 this is good · read the comments · 27 points

appleloop*
posted a quote
February 1, 2014 12:48pm UTC

Hearing yourself sing in the shower and wondering why the hell you haven't made an album yet.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

Livv♥*
posted a quote
February 1, 2014 2:49pm UTC

Mum:Why is your room messy?
Me: Im artistic, see the way I put everything on display on the floor?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 13, 2013 7:36pm UTC

me: so what're you
planning for valentines day?
friend: murder
me: that's the spirt
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 707 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
March 23, 2013 6:09pm UTC

what a wonderful winter we're having this spring
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 748 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 4:02pm UTC

i could never cheat in a relationship.
that would require TWO guys finding me attractive. i can barley find one.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 735 points

yourcool
posted a quote
March 10, 2013 4:45am UTC

am i the only one who tries to
learn lyrics to rap songs so i can surprise people during car rides.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 891 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 1:33pm UTC

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW NED IS SURVIVING HIGH SCHOOL?
I HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE THE END OF EIGHTH GRADE AND I'M STARTING TO WORRY

👍 this is good · read the comments · 923 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 2:53pm UTC

You know that quiet girl in class?
Yeah, she goes home and makes fun of all of you on Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1095 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 6:20pm UTC

i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with
glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1462 points

haay*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 4:36pm UTC

Money can't
buy Love,
but thank
goodness
it can buy
Chocolate!
-my mum got this from her secret santa so i don't know who made this up

👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 4:45pm UTC

did you ever sit in class and have the sudden urge to get up and scream that you don't care before flipping a desk and exiting?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

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