MeganElaineDermodyy's Favorites

MeganElaineDermodyy

pez_candy44
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 7:26pm UTC

.
.
Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family?
Me: *sits with family*
Me: *gets insulted by entire family*
Me: *goes back to bedroom*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 703 points

LacedRibbon
posted a quote
November 21, 2012 5:23pm UTC

Me watching Dora:
*Dora Theme Song plays*
Me: D-D-D-D-D-DORA
Me: D-D-D-D-D-DORA
Me: DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORAAA.
Me: VAMINOS!
Me: SWIPA NO SWIPING! SWIPA NO SWIPING!
Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAAAN.
Me: YOU CAN LEAD THE WA-AY. HEY! HEY!
Dora: Oh no! My friends are in trouble they can't push the boat. We have to help them!
Me: Lolno. You have to help them.
Dora: We have to say empuje!
Me: Don't tell me what I have to say.
Dora: Can you say empuje?
Me: WHY CAN'T WE JUST SAY "PULL" IN ENGLISH?
Dora: Say it! Say empuje!
Me: Don't tell me what to do you passive agressive b/tch! I don't like you!
Dora: Good!
Me: WAT.
Dora: Okay! Now, I need the map!
Me: Good to know.
Dora: Say map!
Me: Map.
Dora: Louder!
Me: F*CKING MAP YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME.
Map: If there's a place you got to go!
Map: I am the one you need to know!
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: You're the what? Sorry, didn't get that.
Map: If there's a place you got to get!
Map: I can get you there I bet!
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: Oh my god.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: OKAY.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: YOU LOOK LIKE A SOFT TACO.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'M THE MAP!
Me: Oh really? I thought you were a F*CKING CHAIR.
Map: Okay! Tell Dora you need to go over the bridge!
Me: Ok.
Map: Through the woods!
Me: Sounds a little dangerous for a 5 year old.
Map: AND THEN YOU GET TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE!
Me: WHY IS HER GRANDMA'S HOUSE SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO GET TO?!
Dora: Where did Map say we have to go?
Me: Over the bridge and through the woods.
Dora: Over the bridge and through the woods?
Me: B*TCH, YES.
Dora: OKAY!
*At the bridge*
Dora: Where's the bridge?
Me: OMFG I KNOW YOU SEE THAT DAMN BRIDGE RIGHT IN BACK OF YOU.
*Magical Cursor Clicks the Bridge*
Me: WHERE THE F*CK DID THAT COME FROM?
Dora: Let's go across the bridge!
Me: Okay...
Swiper: *Takes one of the steps on the bridge*
Me: WAT. THA. FACK.
Swiper: *Snickers*
Dora: OH NO! SWIPER TOOK ONE OF THE STEPS ON THE BRIDGE!
Me: ORLY? BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE GAVE YOU A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS
Dora: Quick! Say SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Me: SWIPER, GIVE THE DAMN STEP BACK. WE JUST WANT TO CROSS THE BRIDGE. GTFO.
Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAN.
Swiper: *Puts step back*
Dora: Now let's cross the bridge!
Me: ...............
*At the woods*
Dora: Where's the woods?
Me: ARE YOU BLIND.
*Magical Cursor Again*
Boots: It's over there, Dora!
Me: Atleast you're smart.
Boots: But Dora, I'm scared of the dark woods.
Me: OMFG, BOOTS.
Me: STOP BEING A LITTLE B*TCH MONKEY.
Me: APE UP.
Dora: It's okay boots. My backpack has a flashlight!
Me: Ughhhhhh.
Dora: Can YOU help?
Me: HELP YOUR DAMN SELF!
Dora: Say BACKPACK!
Me: *Rolls eyes*
Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Me: Wtf r u a Pokemon
Backpack: I'm the Backpack!
Me: No sh*t.
Backpack: Loaded up with things and knick knacks too.
Backpack: Anything that you might need I got inside for you!
Me: I need an Advil.
Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Me: No.
Backpack: BACKPACK, BACKPACK! YEAH.
Me:
Backpack: What does Dora need?
Me: A flashlight for Boots the scared little b*tch monkey.
Backpack: Okay!
Backpack: *Lets out tape, a screwdriver, and a flashlight*
Me: Wtf.
Backpack: Where's the flashlight?
Me: ....RIGHT THERE.
*Magical cursor clicks the screwdriver*
Me: NO WTF THAT'S NOT A FLASHLIGHT.
Backpack: That's not a flashlight!
Me: ORLY.
*Magical cursor clicks flashlight*
Backpack: THAT'S IT! GIVE THE FLASHLIGHT TO DORA!
Me: Oh God.
Backpack: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM DELICIOSO!
Me: Why did you eat tape and a screwdriver?
Me: That's gonna hurt when you take a mighty backpack sh*t.
Dora: Do you have the flashlight?
Me: Yes.
Dora: GREAT! NOW WE CAN GO THROUGH THE WOODS!
Boots: AND I WON'T BE SCARED.
Me: I HOPE A WILD BEAR KILLS YOU BOTH.
*Finally at Grandma's house*
Dora: !Lo hicimos! We did it!
Me: You just said the same thing twice.
Dora: YAYYY
Me: ...
Dora: What was your favorite part?
Me: ...Well.. I have to say I enjoyed the part where--
Dora: I LIKED THAT PART TOO!
Me: B*TCH I DIDN'T FINISH.
Me: F*CK THIS. I'M NEVER WATCHING DORA AGAIN.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 812 points

_g0ldenkiid*
posted a quote
November 20, 2012 3:18pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 775 points

hermione23katniss
posted a quote
November 17, 2012 2:50pm UTC

What people consider a "snack": Animal crackers and a juice box
What I consider a "snack": 2 four topping pizzas, a can of coke, a birthday cake, 3 jars of nutella, a gallon of ice cream, creme brulee from france, 4 donuts, and a pie.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 792 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
November 8, 2012 3:33pm UTC

I was having a great Friday,
until someone told me it was only Thursday..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 829 points

MissTomlinson
posted a quote
November 20, 2012 5:13pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 893 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
November 20, 2012 2:44pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1303 points

bye*
posted a quote
November 19, 2012 5:32pm UTC

i was in a hospital today and i saw this cute boy with a cast on his leg and my first thought was
hey this one can't run away

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1766 points

TalkSouthernToMe
posted a quote
November 30, 2012 6:42pm UTC

As of today. I've been cut free for three years.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 378 points

ChasinMyDreams123
posted a quote
October 25, 2012 6:33pm UTC

Grandma: Why is that cotton candy talking?
Me:
Grandma:
Me:
Grandma:
Me:
Grandma:
Me: grandma...thats Nicki Minaj

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 100 points

runningislife*
posted a quote
October 25, 2012 9:42pm UTC

credittorunningislife
My sister is dying.
Last spring she had a small bowel ostruction. After a week she finally got discharged from the hospital. Today I found out that she is in the hospital again with the same thing. In the morning, if it doesn't get any better, she is due to get surgery. It has gotten so bad that if this keeps bothering her after surgery, this could potentionally kill her. Witty, I'm scared. I don't want to lose the older sister that I admire. So I'm asking a favor of you. Pray for my sister Rachel that all goes well in surgery. I love her so much.
look up a small bowel on google to see what it is
mq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 259 points

sarahlikesbands*
posted a quote
October 25, 2012 5:56pm UTC

Excuse me now.
while I go make a quote for every new Taylor Swift song.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 201 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 692 points

carlislecullensdreamdaughter
posted a quote
October 26, 2012 4:11pm UTC

When Boys with awesome hair get a
haircut and its just like
-______-
Cookiedoughformats

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 57 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
October 19, 2012 10:01pm UTC

"I love you."
"I love you too"
"I love you more."
"I love you most."
"I love you forever."
"I love you forever and always."
"I love you infinity."
"I love you infinity and beyond."
But how many can keep a promise?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 81 points

Arilena :)*
posted a quote
October 20, 2012 8:39am UTC

Girl: "Dad, I am a lesbian."
Sister: "Me too dad."
Dad: "So no one here likes guys?!?!?!"
Son: "i do."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

ilovepenguins46
posted a quote
October 19, 2012 9:58pm UTC

Guy: My girl gets mad when I call
her my "Girlfrien"... She wants the D.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 280 points

idance
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 3:45pm UTC

Me: Wow. I'm home alone.
Me: *In the shower* I WISH THAT I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL
Me: *Into a hairbrush* NO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUT ME OFF
Me: *Running around the house* TONI-I-I-I-I-I-I-IGHT WE ARE YOUNG
Me: *Upside down, balancing myself on the couch* I'M FEELIN' SEXY AND FREEE
Me: *Making microwave popcorn* BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
Family: *Comes home*
Me: *Locks myself in room and goes on Witty*
*found this on tumblr, thought it was funny. sorry if it's already on here.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 420 points

LilyTree
posted a quote
July 29, 2012 10:08pm UTC

You call them
"swear words".
I call them
"sentence enhancers"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 481 points

D0ri20
posted a quote
July 29, 2012 8:40pm UTC

Me: Mom, what If I was on teen mom
Mom: What if I slapped you?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 351 points

Witty Profiles

MeganElaineDermodyy