Oh, haaaii beautiful! Its Lennie c: Heres some things you probably wouldnt have guessed about me. Im kinda socially awkward. Im insecure. And shut up One Directioners, i know what for. Anyway, my best friend committed suicide on April 14, 2012 at 10:10PM. He couldnt stand all the hate for being gay. He was popular before he came out as gay. And then everyone turned on him. But it just made us even closer. He didnt talk to me much all that day. I guess I didnt think anything of it, seeing how he had drivers ed and blah blah blah. I was getting my nails done that day and i ended up crashing at my uncles. His sister called me at 3:41 AM on April 15. I think Kenneths spirit put my phones ringer on loud, because I sure as hell didnt. i hated my old phone. she called me, and i didnt answer. i texted her. and she pretty much said ;Kenneth fuckinn hung himself! and i didnt believe it. i called her back. I called my mom. at first she didnt answer. i called her 3 times. and texted her twice. she finally called me back. she drove the 20 miles to get me, the 20 miles back home, and the 20 miles to Kenneths house. I got there, and his sister seemed perfectly fine while i was balling my eyes out. she was laughing her ass off with her friend. i couldnt take it, so i left. its been the worst couple months of my life. but im getting through it. but wanna know something insane? on April 9th at 9:41 PM, Kenneth texted me saying if it wasnt for good people like you, i probably would have killed myself by now, i didnt tell anyone that he said that. until the cops came to my house for questioning. i dont want to get into that.... on April 13th, Kenneth and I hung out until probably 1 or 2 in the morning. we made a bunch of inside jokes. we talked about our futures, not knowing his was only a day away. he promised to take me to prom one day. he promised to be my best man. he promised this and that..... but none of it would ever come true. and today? im standing up to bullying to FUCK HATE. i actually started cutting myself to cut the pain, but i only did that about 3 times. it didnt help. at all. so please, if you ever need someone to talk to, talk to me. i have absolutely no room to judge.
you're all so fucking beautiful. i wish i could go around making you all feel secure about yourselves even though i'm not even secure. :( if any of you ever need anyone to talk to, message me. seriously though do it. i have NO ROOM TO JUDGE. i'm as flawed as flawed comes. read my box up yonder ^^ and you'll realize it tooo. if you ever, EVER need someone to talk to, talk to me. i'll give you my number and promise to help you whenever you need me 100% of the time. never forget that there is always someone out there willing to help. even though i'm hundreds, maybe even thousands of miles away from you guys, i'm still here to help you. i may not be able to physically come and hug you and tell you it'll be okay, but i'll help you through your problems and promise to help you live through another day. <3