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JocyTheCookieMonster

pez_candy44
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 7:26pm UTC

.
.
Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family?
Me: *sits with family*
Me: *gets insulted by entire family*
Me: *goes back to bedroom*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 703 points

annalove26
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 9:33pm UTC

Person: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: Kill zombies.
Person: But zombies don't exist..
Me: Have you ever seen one?
Person: No...
Me: YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU UNGREATFUL PEASANT.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 966 points

JustMeh
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 1:39pm UTC

Not one person wished me a happy birthday today.
Which I suppose is fair, since it isn't my birthday

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1083 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
October 27, 2012 8:45pm UTC

Cat: You have to stay on a leash. Ha!
Dog: They don't put you on a leash because they want you to run away.
Cat: ...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 518 points

Bananabrains316
posted a quote
October 31, 2012 9:18pm UTC

Girls with curly hair: I wish my hair was straight.
Girls with straight hair: I wish my hair was curly.
Girls with wavy hair: Bow down to me biitches.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 668 points

zebraspotz4
posted a quote
October 28, 2012 8:39pm UTC

Today is my Birthday.
And this is NOT for favs. I just have to document that im doing this.
I decided today that im going to give myself a gift. A nice Birthday Present since i turn 14. Not new shoes, a purse, some makeup, no. This is even better. Im stopping. I quit. Im tired of living like this. Im tired of the pain i feel everyday. So im finally going to let myself go. Im going to free myself. Im finally ending this.
Starting today, for every fav i get on this quote, i will not:
cut myself
force myself to throw up
starve myself
call myself ugly, fat, stupid, etc
let the bullies get to me
allow myself to be treated like i am
im actually kind of scared, because i know this is going to be really hard. And thats the reason why im doing it for every fav, because seeing the support, seeing those hearts, i know im never going to go against my word if im promising it to you guys
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 549 points

KangaDrew
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 2:02pm UTC

Take Me Home by One Direction
is coming out on November 13th...
And so is the next Call of Duty game.
The teenage pregnancy rate is going to go way down this month as guys and girls everywhere start ignoring each other for these two things...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 759 points

hermione23katniss
posted a quote
October 28, 2012 4:15pm UTC

The money in your wallet
could've once belonged to Zac Efron or Barack Obama.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 594 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Leah_Jane933
posted a quote
October 30, 2012 4:31pm UTC

Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my Parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house.
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 883 points

LiliBlackHeart
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 4:00pm UTC

two headphones: you can't talk to me
one headphone: you can't talk to me
no headphone: you still can't talk to me

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 523 points

EmilyxLovesxU
posted a quote
October 24, 2012 5:20pm UTC

Can you relate?
-You sit in your towel after a shower because you're to lazy to get dressed.
- You and your best friend say just 1 word then crack up.
- You hate it when one string on your hoodie is longer than the other.
-You hate when people think you like someone who you clearly dont.
-You hate when your fave song comes on as you pull into the driveway.
-You feel like if you turn the lights on, you'll be safe.
-You push those little buttons on fast food drinks.
-You hate when your parents get serious about something funny you said.
-You pretend to sleep when your parents come in.
-You hate when you're going somewhere but you're behind a slow walker.
-You're always tired no matter how much sleep you get.
-You use the "sup" head nod.
-...You just did the nod after you read it.
-You put your iPod on shuffle then skip most songs.
-You are obsessed with a certain celebrity/celebrites.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 571 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
October 23, 2012 10:26pm UTC

instead of staring at google
WHEN YOUR PARENTS ARE LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER,
open this link: www.essaytyper.com
you're welcome xoxo

👍 this is good · read the comments · 714 points

ilovehim12510
posted a quote
October 20, 2012 9:43am UTC

maybe disney wasn't for kids
maybe it was meant for us teenagers. did you ever think nemo was made for teens who are trying to get through rough times, or making true friends? maybe the princesses were to show us to love who you want, wait for your prince, and that there is someone waiting for us? maybe cars was to show us that the road of life truely never ends. monsters inc? nothing in life is truely as scary as it may seem. hish school musical? to truely take the road to success, whatever makes you happy. the lion king taught us to have no worries, for the rest of our days. lilo and stich: your family is truely the rock of your life. dumbo was to show that imperfections are beautiful. bambi was so we knew that everyone has loss, we are never alone in our feelings. and winnie the pooh? nothing is the same without our best friends
maybe walt disney wrote for us

👍 this is good · read the comments · 526 points

yourcool
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 5:18pm UTC

silly teens, babies are for adults...

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 599 points

Arilena :)*
posted a quote
October 20, 2012 8:21am UTC

In class:
1. peel your nail polish off
2. search your hair for split ends
3. check the clock every 5 seconds
4. draw hearts on your paper
5. draw smiley faces on your hand
6. secretly eat because your starving

👍 this is good · read the comments · 555 points

KerenThompson
posted a quote
October 23, 2012 8:50pm UTC

Isn't it ironic...
that when you fold a heart in half you get a tear drop?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 730 points

Rhyburgie2
posted a quote
October 21, 2012 6:16pm UTC

One Halloween I got so much candy I went back to my house to get a new bag. I went to a lady's house and she said "Trick or Treating is almost over and you have no candy. Here!" She says dumping her WHOLE candy bowl into my bag.
I love Old People
❤

👍 this is good · read the comments · 726 points

yourcool
posted a quote
October 22, 2012 5:53pm UTC

things that make me fall asleep real fast:
- when someone hums quietly.
- when my hair gets played with.
- when someone whispers a story to me.
- when someone traces my skin.
- chloroform.
#thatescalatedquickly

👍 this is good · read the comments · 887 points

JustCantLiveALie
posted a quote
October 19, 2012 4:44pm UTC

x
x
x
x
x
x
This is the girl at school. She is always smiling and happy. She has a bubbly personality.
x
x
x
x
x
x
This is the girl who breaks down every single night because she can't take it anymore.
Wanna know a secret? They're the same girl.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 760 points

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JocyTheCookieMonster