just another stupid vent.
Wow, I actually can't believe you. You knew I trusted you more then anything,you stopped me doing stupid, stupid things. I poured my heart out to you and you helped me, I loved you more then I had loved any of my friends before. But I never saw you as anything more then a friend.. Unfortunatly we got too close, you ended up, for some unknown reason, liking me. You always told me when you did. But never told me how much. And when you told me I was shocked! You almost commited suiside over me! me!! Just because I never saw you as anything more then a friend, just because I was in love with someone else! I couldnt stop thinking about you after you told me, I was so scared and sick of myself! I was so horrible! Almost killing someone. I cant sleep anymore. Ever. My eyes water everytime I think about it. And then... And then the next week, you start going out with someone. I was so angry! I thought everthing you had told my was bullsh*t. You promised me it wasn't. Then you asked if we could stop talking for a while,incase you started liking me again, I didn't tell you that he was all I had, so for about 2 weeks I had never been so alone,and so weak in my whole life. I finally crumbled and i told him he was all i had. So we started talking again, and I got better. Then.. the worst happend, you told me you still liked me, and you had a girlfriend! You had starting shouting at me telling me to not talk to you ever again! You asked me to pretend we ever met, told me you had f**ked everything up! You said you just wanted a perfect relationship with his girlfriend who he 'loves sooo much' I was hurt but I thought it was ok because I couldnt blame you for not wanting to talk to me because you loved your girlfriend so much. It's been another 2 weeks and im not doing well. I met a few amazing people who showed me not everyone at my school is a b*tch. I tried forgetting about you.. I really really did. I thought of you being happy with your girlfriend you loved,and that made me happy,it really did! But it's all changed now. I found out. Found out you cheated on your own girlfriend! The girl that 'ruind' our friendship, you blamed it on loving her so much.. Thats why you stopped talking to me, stopped caring about me..Left me on my own, even after everything I told you... And now I dont know what to think about anything.
I know this was long, it would mean so much if someone actually read it. But everyone has their problems, and I know this is such a pathetic one, but I just had to let it out.