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Iheartmell

dolph*
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 10:36am UTC

So I tried to make polite conversation with our building's youngest tenant
Me: Hey, that's a Harry Potter shirt, right? You like Harry Potter?
Little girl: *hides behind her mom*
Mom: Go ahead, you can tell her.
Little girl: Yeeaaaaaah...
Me: That's cool! Who's your favorite character? Hermione?
Little girl: *shakes head*
Me: Ron? Harry?
Little girl: I LIKE LORD VOLDEMORT.
Me: Uh.
Little girl: HE REPRESENTS CHAOS.
Me: That's.. fun too.
Tumblr

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 4:36pm UTC

Ever noticed how your body is trying to keep you safe?
When you hurt yourself and don’t put a band-aid on it because you think you deserve the pain, your body creates a natural band-aid to keep you protected. When you want to tear open your skin, your skin fights back, creates a tough skin of scar tissue to prevent it happening again. When you take all those pills because you’ve had enough, your stomach contracts to get rid of them
Because your body wants you to live.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 12:53pm UTC

me: *drops food on the floor*
germs: hey, food, let's go get it.
king germ: wait.
king germ: we must wait 5 seconds.
king germ: it is the rule.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 3:25pm UTC

Any pain
you are going through right now;
it will end.
Take a deep breath.
Think of that one, bright, happy thing in your life
and smile.
Live another day.
It’s worth it.
Trust me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 256 points

carson5482
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 6:37pm UTC

*20 Years From Now*
Daughter: Hey, mom, I like this band-
Me: Omg, I'm so sorry.
Daughter: Sorry?
Me: I'll call the teachers.
Daughter: Why are y-
Me: To let them know your grades will be dropping
Daughter: Why will-
Me: I'm afraid it's al down hill from here.
Daughter: What are you talking ab-
Me: You might as well say goodbye to your friends.
Daughter: But I-
Me: Want me to help you with your blog?
Daughter: I don't have a-
Me: You will.
Daughter: But-
Me: Shh. It's already done. There's no turning back.
Follow for a follow. :)

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lovecrazy
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 5:02pm UTC

Science teacher: Okay, put your hand on something cold that's around you.
Everyone: *Puts hands on the desk*
Me: *Puts hand on heart*

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 8:17pm UTC

do you ever just want to grab someone
in your class and pull their face close while staring at them in theeyes and then whisper "shut the f.ck up."

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 5:03pm UTC

Elementary School: Here's a basic understanding of history and how the world works.
High School: Actually, that's not quite right. Everything is much more complicated than that.
College: Everything you ever learned is wrong.
History Channel: Aliens.

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dolph*
posted a quote
May 10, 2013 4:24pm UTC

Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 a.s.sholes
I love spanish

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Amenah
posted a quote
May 8, 2013 3:54pm UTC

"You're fat."
That's fine. I know I'm bigger than a girl my age should be, and it's hardly like I try to hide it or anything. You haven't hurt me; all you've done is shown me that you can state the obvious. Because it's not really that offensive to me - I've always been chubby. I was a chubby child, so why is it so shocking that I grew up to be a chubby teenager? Don't misunderstand; I think you're a rude asshat and my respect for you just plummeted. However, I myself am okay. I can lose the weight if I want to - I can go running, I can do push-ups every night, I can monitor what I eat so I don't eat more than I need to. I can manage all that just fine, if I want to. And it's fine if you see me checking the calory count on something and label me with an eating disorder, because I know I don't have one. If my weight affects my health, or if I can't stand it, guess what? I will change it myself. Your input, advice and observations are neither needed nor wanted. Now, instead of worrying about me and how I look, why don't you put more effort into being the person you want to be and leave me alone? I'm happy with being 'fat'.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:29pm UTC

do you guys realize
we can change our lives any time we want
like you can just go ahead and travel the world,
stop eating meat,
shave your head,
start running,
tell that person you hate why you hate them so much,
confess your love to someone
and kiss them unexpectedly
like w hy don’t we do that?

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:46pm UTC

i just want to go to
a coffee shop
on a rainy day and order something nice and warm
and have an attractive stranger around my age say
“I’ll have one of those too, please”
and for them to smile at me and introduce themselves
and for us to slowly fall in love in a coffee shop
but instead whenever I go to a coffee shop ,
I find teenagers taking pictures
of their orders with their iPhones
and middle aged women wearing
yoga pants..

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 11:17pm UTC

a few important things:
- most human beings do not naturally have a thigh gap
- a thigh gap is not an indication of weight
- thigh gaps are not dependant on weight, they are dependant on how wide your hips are
- ribs and hipbones aren't meant to be very visible in a female human being who is a healthy weight
- collarbones are not meant to jut out heaps
- it's normal to have rolls on your stomach when you sit down or bend over
- it is normal to have a stomach that curves out a little bit
- most girls have stretch marks somewhere on their bodies; it comes with growing up and growing out
- stretch marks are not a sign of being fat, they are a sign of growing
- BMI charts are not accurate at all
-six-pack abs are not necessary to be healthy, be fit, or look good
- eating whenever you are hungry is perfectly fine
- the majority of girls have one breast bigger than the other (same goes for foot and hand sizes)
- the best way to get a bikini body: put your body in a bikini
- it is okay not to show off your body but it is also okay to show off your body as long as you're not mean to others about their bodies
- your body is yours to do with what you want

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kristabff
posted a quote
March 18, 2013 7:50pm UTC

If you're having a bad day
just remember that yesterday i went up to the board in math class and wrote that 15+2=15.2

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Infinity on high*
posted a quote
March 7, 2013 2:50am UTC

Sheldon Cooper summing up my life in one sentence:
'I cry because other people are stupid and it makes me sad.'

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 9, 2013 11:08pm UTC

If you're ever late for class or school, here are some excuses.
1) I was just really, really early for tomorrow
2) We can't all be Usain Bolt
3) In this day and age, we shouldn't use labels like "late"
4) I had PE first period. Do you really blame me?
5) My brother thought that it'd be hilarious to drop me off outside the prison gates
6) You can't tell me how to live my life
7) #YOLO
8) My legs fell off and I had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic
9) There was a freak yachting accident
10) Do you even read these?
11) "It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop."
12) I spent my entire night writing Tom Daley fanfiction
13) My father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago. Do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight?
14) Sarah Palin and I got in a twitter war and I couldn't let her win
15) Traffic jammy jammy jam
16) How can we go to school when Tom Daley
17) My sim was having an emotional breakdown and I needed to be there for her
18) I was sticking it to the man
19) I spent my entire night worrying if I would ever get a boyfriend
20) My meth lab caught on fire
21) My bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be
22) I was sad
23) It was a nice day, so I walked leisurely
24) 2 kool 4 skool
25) I had to stop, collaborate, and listen
26) I tried
27) A haiku about my lateness:
late late late late late
late late late late late late late
late late late late late
28) I was fashionably late
29) I was caught in a flash mob
30) I didn't choose the late life, the late life chose me

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yourcool
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 3:36pm UTC

one time in high school i didn't read the assigned book
and i was like screw it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some bs about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book.

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x_damaged_x
posted a quote
April 24, 2012 7:11pm UTC

When I'm older I'm going to have 4 children.
My first daughter will be named Stacy. I'll be Stacy's mom, & I shall have it going on.
My first son will be Luke. Then, my husband can say "Luke, I am your father!"
My second daughter will be named Narnia, so when I get her something, I will proclaim "FOR NARNIA!!!!!" & my last son will be named Sparta. So when I introduce him, I will annouce "THIS IS SPARTA!"

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xlivelaughlove524x
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 8:26pm UTC

Girl: May I please use the restroom?
Teacher: Can you wait? This period is almost over.
Girl: Not for me it isn't.
^I saw this in a movie today, and I laughed so hard I cried.

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blahhxxemmy
posted a quote
March 20, 2012 8:35pm UTC

*pierced my own lip without asking, getting in the car with my dad, he sees it for the first time..*
dad: Hey- WHAT THE HELL
me: I-
dad: GET OUT OF THE CAR
me: *gets out*
dad:
me:
dad: GET BACK IN THE CAR
me: *gets back in the car*
dad:
me:
dad: WE'RE GOING TO DAIRY QUEEN
me:
dad: WHAT KIND OF ICE CREAM DO YOU WANT
true story, lol

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