HannahJIll's Favorites

Christopher Robin*
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 5:00pm UTC

Funny Pickup Lines
#1
"You know what material this is? [Pull shirt out] Boyfriend material."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

Christopher Robin*
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 6:56pm UTC

Funny Pickup Lines
#2
"I'll be BurgerKing and you'll be McDonalds... I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it."

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Christopher Robin*
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 7:07pm UTC

Funny Pickup Lines
#3
"If a fat man puts you in a bag tonight, don't worry, I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points

Christopher Robin*
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 7:33pm UTC

Funny Pickup Lines
#4
"Are you a perking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all ova' you."

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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perksofhaley
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 7:44pm UTC

its impossible said pride
its riskey said experience
its pointless said reason
give it a try
said the heart❤

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 7:45pm UTC

North West was the first child of Kanye and Kim. One year later, there will
be a child named East. Following that year, a child will be born with the name South. Finally, a year afterward, West West will be born. The children will become the guardians of their respected cardinal directions, forming together to create the compass of destiny that will lead us all to eternal life.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 10, 2013 1:09am UTC

"dear girls who tan: it's called
'sun kissed', not 'dorito r a p e d'."
"your makeup makes you look like
you've been r a p e d by crayola."
hey here's an idea: let's not make casual
r a p e jokes and pretend that they're funny.
1 in 4 girls, remember that. 1 in 4 teenage
girls are very definitely not laughing.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 11, 2013 2:09am UTC

someone: so do you like boys or girls?
me: everyone
me: no one is safe
me: you can't run from my love
me: ridiculous crushes left right and center
me: duck for cover
me: hIT THE DECKS
me: MAN THE SAILS
me: GET AWAY AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK

👍 this is good · read the comments · 103 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 1:14am UTC

boy: *tells a joke*
me: *laughs*
me: *chokes*

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 4:21am UTC

"how come you look so cool?"
because that's the only thing that i learned at school.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 11:16pm UTC

guys, i was playing table tennis in PE and to cut a long story short, i managed to hit the ball at such an angle that it flew up some random guy's shorts.
this is why you can't have nice things, lizzy.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 8:47pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
I hate anyone with my name,
because it feels like a competition and let's be honest, you're not winning.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 128 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 7:39pm UTC

Due to the continued Global
Financial Crisis, Ke$ha will now be known as Ke¢ha.

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glitter162*
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 8:08pm UTC

I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it's more of a wrap.

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BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 12:00am UTC

HOLY CHRIST ON A BICYCLE, WHERE DID EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE GO?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T ALL GO AND GET SOCIAL LIVES
I'M PUTTING THIS UNDER BREAKUP QUOTES
YES YOU HEARD ME

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niall_horan_
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 2:54pm UTC

Baby,
you a song
and you make me wanna
roll my windows down
and
cruise

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astalker
posted a quote
June 19, 2013 7:15pm UTC

i got punched by a chick at warped tour 2013 while sleeping with sirens was playing.
the bada** part is it didnt hurt and i didnt go unconcious.
the nerdy part is i got to the first aid tent with my nose bleeding and cut and blood all over me and realized i lost my glasses and my water bottle.
*facepalm* "OW!"

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astalker
posted a quote
June 21, 2013 2:02pm UTC

Did you know...
your nose runs when you cry because tears from your eyes run into your nose?
And...
eye boogers are the same thing as nose boogers?

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happiest*
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 4:00pm UTC

Stupid products instructions:
On a knife sharpener:
Caution :Knives are sharp
(isn't that the point of the sharpener?)
On shin pads for cyclists :
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body, they do not cover
(well sh-t)
In a microvave oven manual :
Do not use for drying pets
(Ah...That's why my dog is blind)
On a Harry Potter wizards broom :
This broom does not actually fly
(How i'm supposed to play Quidditch?)
On a bottle of laundry detergent :
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine
(Can someone turn on the washing machine while i get in it? I need to wash my clothes)
On a muffin packet
Remove wrapper,open mouth,insert muffin,eat.
(You lost me at remove wraper)
In a kettle instruction manual :
The appliance is switched on by setting the "ON/OF" button to the "ON" position
(So what does the off button do then?)
On a ketchup bottle :
Instruction : Put on food
(What? they told me it would open up my pores)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 158 points

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HannahJIll