There’s always been something that’s bothered me.
My family has always called me a drama queen, for everything I do.
Like when my brother punched me in the face, I cried. And they make fun of me for crying.
Is a punch not supposed to hurt? Is it supposed to be something I laugh at? Because it’s not.
I guess the reason why I don’t tell them that I was so depressed is because I know that it will have the same reaction. Drama queen. Cry baby.
But people don’t get how bad it hurt/hurts. I can’t stop thinking, I cry all the time, my whole heart feels shattered, I feel pain all the time, and all I really want to do is curl up in my bed and cry, or sit on a train track and wait for a train to come.
It’s more severe than “I’m not confident” “People are mean”
It’s the fact that I can’t find enough good in myself to see a reason to live. The fact that I get criticized and belittled everyday by people who are my friends and family (people that I look up to and love), being told that I’m stupid or not good enough. It’s the fact that I can’t see anything else in life other than getting hurt, feeling pain, and never being good enough.
But I guess that’s the problem. No one really understands.