CountOnMex3's Favorites

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 12:31am UTC

*Flush in the daytime*
Toilet: woosh
*Flush at night when everyone's
asleep*
Toilet: NIAGARA FALLS BIITCHES

👍 this is good · read the comments · 799 points

ThatsJustLifee
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 7:07pm UTC

This poem was written by an African child
and was nominated for the Best poem of 2005.
Colour
When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still black,
And you White fella,
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray,
And you calling me Coloured?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1051 points

xogiaaaox
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 5:35pm UTC

Chris Brown hits her, Eminem lies to her, Drake can't remember her name.
Poor Rihanna.
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 318 points

xoambermarie
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 5:47pm UTC

Me: Call my boyfriend.
Siri: Are you pregnant?
Me: Siri, just call my boyfriend.
Siri: We don't need to involve him. This is your decision. I can take care of everything.
Me: Siri.
Siri:
Me:
Siri:
Me:
Siri: He doesn't need to know a thing. It can be like it never happened. Poof.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 369 points

fghjklweirdamianfghjkl
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 5:24pm UTC

You know you're lazy when.... #1
You're too lazy to even finish the
5+ likes and I'll make a series

👍 this is good · read the comments · 234 points

AustinH
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 7:05pm UTC

British accent: Justin Biebah.
American: Justin Biebur.
Australian: Jastin Beybah.
You just tried out all of the accents, didnt you?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 648 points

LoveAndWar
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 9:02am UTC

Me: Mom, my stomach hurts really bad.
Mom: maybe you're in labor? Like that one show, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant."
Me: Yeah, or that one show, "I Didn't Know I Wasn't a Virgin."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 595 points

Rhyburgie2
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 11:25pm UTC

Water you saying?
We're over.
mq/
No!! I fish you would come back! :'(
I won't sand anymore messages!
Or at least my responses wont be as pacific.
Whale, I guess you're not coming back.
Anyway, water you up to?
I'm just tiding up the place.
Damn you!
Sorry, thats what one river said to another.
I'm going to make you walk the plankton.
Are you tide of these jokes? After a whale they start getting annoying. I think its on purpouise though.
What did one valcano say to another valcano?
I lava you ;) <3
Awwh, I lava you to my dork!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 403 points

bgsoccer03
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 10:44am UTC

Pedophile: Get in the van.
Me: no.
Pedophile: It has wifi
Me: okay.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 691 points

yourcool
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 3:16pm UTC

mission impossible: not eating a french fry on the way home from the drive-thru.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

_Mr_Matt_
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 10:14pm UTC

Who Else Misses
Sonny
b e f o r e s h e l o s t h e r c h a n c e ?
The Russos
b e f o r e w e f o u n d o u t w h o b e c a m e t h e f a m i l y w i z a r d ?
Hannah Montanta
b e f o r e s h e t o o k o f f t h e w i g ?
Phil
b e f o r e h e w e n t b a c k t o t h e f u t u r e ?
&&Lastly
Zack & Cody
b e f o r e t h e y w e r e o n t h e b o a t ?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 212 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 4358 points

SocietyKilledTheTeenager
posted a quote
January 14, 2012 12:25pm UTC

It's been 2 days since my boyfriend died.
I still can't stop crying..
I know he'd want me to be strong, but I can't, I just can't..
He was too young to die.. He was only 15 years old.
I don't want to live without him.
I don't think I can do this. :'/
CANCER, I FREAKING HATE YOU.
Rest In Peace Matthew
(FramingMatthew on Witty)
8/17/1996 - 1/12/2012
I'll never forget you..
I love you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 4681 points