CaptainAl's Favorites

yourcool
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 6:38pm UTC

some of you are actually really attractive.
like wtf are you doing on the internet bro?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 877 points

itsamadworld
posted a quote
December 15, 2012 11:37am UTC

my step-dad: *accidentally rips all the christmas lights we just put up down*
my mom: *walks away with hands up in the air*I SHOULD'VE BEEN A LESBIAN

👍 this is good · read the comments · 844 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 3:23pm UTC

when you get to that part of a
book where the title suddenly just
makes sense
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1006 points

WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
January 13, 2013 2:21pm UTC

The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 281 points

phee
posted a quote
January 13, 2013 4:04pm UTC

i
love
falling
asleep
to
the
sound
of
rain

👍 this is good · read the comments · 261 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 13, 2013 4:08pm UTC

You told me
that I was just another face in the crowd,
so I told you that you were just another jerk.
Maybe it was my fault to interrupt your words,
because while you were walking away,
I heard you murmur,
“another face in the crowd that managed
to take my breath away.”
While I found myself saying,
“another jerk,that I’d die to be with.”

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 225 points

BlondieBooJayy
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 8:27pm UTC

There’s that one girl
[ in every grade ]
that starts drama with
E v e r y o n e.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 115 points

Jersey_Girl
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 10:31pm UTC

Squidward Tenticles could really use a witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 174 points

dolph*
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 6:03pm UTC

Edward Cullen:
Could use time being immortal to research Cancer.
Instead goes to High School a billion times and seduces a 17 year old girl.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 225 points

gogoyoable
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 7:26pm UTC

No, I get it. She's prettier.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 278 points

MyMindBook
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 9:44pm UTC

What if Taylor Swift dated Ed Sheeran but He Cheated
on her with ADELE and then they all broke up......?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 381 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 2:51pm UTC

one year ago today, january 12, 2012,
we lost a very loved and a very strong and amazing guy.
and although many of us have never met this guy,
heard of him, or talked to him, we still felt for him when
we heard his story. When we lost him, it wasn't just his family,
friends and girlfriend that lost him. We lost him, too.
We lost an amazing part of Witty last year on this day.
And he will be missed forever, as well as loved forever.
FramingMathew 8/17/1996 - 1/12/2012

👍 this is good · read the comments · 700 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 2:58pm UTC

the episode where spongebob goes around
asking people if he's ugly and they all run away is basically an 11 minute description of my life.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 910 points

jahan
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 3:41pm UTC

the grinch is:
1. extremely antisocial
2. weird looking
3. mankind's number one hater
4. in desperate need of a witty account

👍 this is good · read the comments · 173 points

of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
January 6, 2013 7:12pm UTC

Ana
I met this girl named Ana,
I heard she ruins lives.
Won't let me have a banana,
a peach or pumpkin pie.
No chicken, no meat, no pasta.
Just water and some air.
I know this girl named Ana,
She's making my life a nightmare.
ana is short for anorexia.
my original poem/please dont steal
♥
Guys whoever put my poem above on Tumblr I love you please tell me who you are so I can parise you with showers of lavender peach glade scents I love you so much like I'm freaking out I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack when I saw it on my dash like one of my favorite Tumblr users reblogged and and I was like, "This is my poem.. THIS IS MY POEMER T5J4QYHRGH54HUERH3QWEJRSDJWQ;TNMTYKJ" like I was going crazy and my brother was like calm the eff down and I was like no i cant calm down this is one of the best things that has ever happened in my entire life like I can't even

👍 this is good · read the comments · 169 points

MasonJohnson
posted a quote
January 10, 2013 9:31pm UTC

If you read this....
we're dating now.
No choice.
Love Mason(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 181 points

jariley*
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 3:05pm UTC

I sprained my hand...
my first worry was how am I supposed to type on the computer on Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 186 points

x0x_jay_x0x
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 4:35pm UTC

He cheated on my best friend...
I walked right up to him and punched him straight in the face. Best feeling ever.
And I'll go to detention with PRIDE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 393 points

Christa133
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 9:51am UTC

let's leave YOLO in 2012
please

👍 this is good · read the comments · 222 points

OreoLover
posted a quote
January 6, 2013 9:22pm UTC

Imagine that all of us Wittians got together and had like,
A Witty Party.
It'd be so cool. For snacks and refreshments, we'd have pizza, ice cream, a nutella bar, and we could watch movies like Mean Girls and old Disney shows, and we'd stay in our sweatpants and comfy clothes all night, and we could call hot guys off of restricted numbers because we're too insecure to talk to them, and then we could have fandom trivia rounds
and the prizes would include little band member/
book character bobble heads and stuff, & then
we'd all write down our favorite songs so that
they're all played by the end of the night,
and we'd just have the best time ever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 899 points

Witty Profiles

CaptainAl