Bentley991's Favorites

jariley*
posted a quote
January 30, 2013 10:06pm UTC

When you say, "it's a long story" meaning you don't want to say it,
but then the person replies, "I've got time."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 233 points

kowhyda*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 11:49am UTC

My dad at a Turkish store:
Dad: -to a worker- So everything here is made in Turkey, right?
Worker: Yes, everything is from Turkey.
Dad: Really? Everything?
Worker: Mhmm.
Dad: Oh, okay then.
Dad: -picks up box-
Dad: -turns box over and reads back-
Dad: Made in China
Worker:
Dad:
Worker:
Dad:
Worker:
Dad:
Dad: Yup, everything's from Turkey alright.
Dad: If Turkey was in China.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 226 points

WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 4:43pm UTC

Come on guys, stop it with the elderly jokes.
They're getting old.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 264 points

notgivinafuuuck
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 7:09pm UTC

"EW! You like him?"
I fxcking hate when I like a guy, and someone says that to me. How rude can you be? I don’t care if he isn't the “cutest” boy ever, he doesn't have to be. The fact that you don’t even know him, and you still said that. Fxck you. I like him for him. You might not think he’s cute, but you don’t see him the way I do. I think he’s perfect the way he is.♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 235 points

AwesomeUsername
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 6:04pm UTC

Dryer: That's a nice pair of socks you got there.
Dryer: It would be a shame if one of them...
Dryer: Disappeared.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 236 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 233 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 30, 2013 1:08pm UTC

Me: I'm going to miss this class. It's the only one where I don't hate everyone
Teacher: Really? I can't see you hating everyone
Junior 1: Really? I can.
Junior 2: Yeah, I can too
Entire class: Yeah, I can see it
Teacher: Really?
Junior 1: Yeah. It's always the quiet ones.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 242 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 4:04pm UTC

we have enough gun control.
what we need is idiot control.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 280 points

acc_1029
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 1:53pm UTC

"Look at this b/tch flashing her gang signs at me!"
"Grandma, please, she's deaf.."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 250 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 11:50am UTC

everywhere
you go make sure you
randomly laugh darkly and say
“I’m finally getting used
to this body”
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 275 points

kamilagirl225
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 12:18pm UTC

Around Parents: Normal Mode, on.
Around Friends: Silly Mode, on.
Aound Babies: Barney Mode, on .
Around Crush: Retarted Mode, on.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 288 points

sammy*
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 1:54pm UTC

i think the worst feeling in the world is knowing that someone you used to talk to everyday doesn't care about you anymore

👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

ShortGirlsDoItBetter
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 1:13pm UTC

I have
CDO
It's like
OCD
but all
the letters
are in
alphabetical
order.
As they
should
be.
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 294 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 12:19pm UTC

aristotle: we are what we repeatedly do.
plato: well then i guess im YOUR MOM
plato: *high fives socrates*
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 277 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 10:27pm UTC

parents: your room is a mess
me: you should see my life
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 272 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 6:28pm UTC

I JUST WALKED INTO A
TREE AND FELL ON TO THE
FOOTPATH AND MY SCHOOL BAG IS
REALLY HEAVY SO I WAS JUST KINDA
LYING ON MY BACK WITH MY
HANDS IN THE AIR AND A BUNCH OF
TEN YEAR OLDS WERE LAUGHING AT
ME AND THEY STARTED CHANTING
‘THE LONELY TURTLE’
AND I AM 258927887% DONE
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 306 points

wuvyouboo
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 11:55pm UTC

can't sleep at night
can't get up in the morning
Can't win.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 305 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 6:19pm UTC

cauliflowers
are so dumb like they try
so hard to be broccoli but it
just doesnt work
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 299 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 7:01pm UTC

i can't believe all of you can fit inside my computer
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 305 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 7:12pm UTC

friends
are a lot like snowmen.
they dissapear when you pee on them.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 300 points

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