1dfoshawty's Favorites

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 10:33pm UTC

Dentist: *scrapes gums with sharp, metal instruments*
Dentist: You're bleeding because you don't floss

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MyMindBook
posted a quote
December 16, 2012 7:48pm UTC

Some guy just blindfolded me and dragged
me into a warehouse.
I’m still waiting for him to say it’s a Febreeze commercial.

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roseth0rn
posted a quote
December 9, 2012 6:13pm UTC

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13andFearless
posted a quote
November 28, 2012 3:39pm UTC

Hey babe (;
We broke up over a month ago, its over, unless you want to do other....things ;)
Oooh, what do you have in mind? (;
Illegal things...
What type of illegal things?
Kill you.
Nmq-

👍 this is good · read the comments · 760 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
December 6, 2012 3:27pm UTC

Me: Hey, I like your shirt.
Them: Thanks, I got it for seventy dollars at a department store.
Me: Really? Because for seventy dollars at Burlington, I got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwar, a golden retriever, and two Puerto Rican children.

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ѕυммєяѕυηѕєтѕ*
posted a quote
December 4, 2012 2:35pm UTC

r4ndom-url♥
what's the worst thing that could happen from cutting yourself?
▼
■ Anonymous
one day, your child is going to see your scars, and think it's okay for them to do that, too.
Ask r4ndom-url a question
◀

👍 this is good · read the comments · 806 points

yourcool
posted a quote
November 29, 2012 9:34pm UTC

what if tattoos just randomly appeared
on our skin at key points in out lives? and we had to figure out what they meant for ourselves.

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yourcool
posted a quote
December 2, 2012 8:23pm UTC

14.4 million letters are lost
in the mail every year.
all of our acceptance letters to hogwarts must have been part of that 14.4 million.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 868 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 8, 2012 1:40pm UTC

things i never learned in high school:
- how to do taxes
- what taxes are
- how to vote
- what politics are
- how to write a reusme/cover letter/anything related to getting a job
- how to write a check/balance a check book
- anything to do with banking
- how to do loans for college
- how to jump start a car or other basic emergency things
- how to buy a house or a car
but boy am i f/cking glad that i know the pythagorean theorm.

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Meowcat
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 7:42pm UTC

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LookingThroughRoseColoredGlasses
posted a quote
November 5, 2012 11:46am UTC

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hermione23katniss
posted a quote
November 17, 2012 2:50pm UTC

What people consider a "snack": Animal crackers and a juice box
What I consider a "snack": 2 four topping pizzas, a can of coke, a birthday cake, 3 jars of nutella, a gallon of ice cream, creme brulee from france, 4 donuts, and a pie.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 792 points

MissTomlinson
posted a quote
November 20, 2012 5:13pm UTC

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 3:16pm UTC

Romney or Obama?
Neither, I'm voting for Regina George because she got pushed in front of a bus.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 813 points

That_music_girl
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 3:58pm UTC

So today, our algebra teacher left the classroom for like 3 minutes.
In that time, we managed to get the whole class to climb out the window.
Her face when she saw the empty room-
Priceless.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 880 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
November 9, 2012 7:47pm UTC

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👍 this is good · read the comments · 947 points

yourcool
posted a quote
November 5, 2012 8:21pm UTC

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👍 this is good · read the comments · 884 points