Best Police Quotes Ever

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 11:28am UTC

Police: This is the police! Open your door, now!
Me: Not with that attitude

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 191 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
August 29, 2013 5:04pm UTC

FBI: Open the door!
Me: No, it's cooler when you break in

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 123 points

happiest*
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 2:23pm UTC

great im 18 now lets see if this swearing is ok now
Me : poop
*police sirens*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 121 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 11:48am UTC

What would you do if you saw me wearing a shirt that said "Kill Me"?
If you saw me at a party or on the street, would you promptly m.urder me? What if I had a few drinks? What if I was walking alone at night? I'm guessing that you wouldn't if you're a sane individual. The cops wouldn't overlook your crime because of what I was wearing, that would be silly. I wasn't literally asking for you to kill me based on my choice of clothing. Who would take that defense seriously?
My friends wouldn't blame me for being murdered and my killer would be behind bars almost instantly.
So, why is it okay to r.ape someone because they're wearing revealing clothes? Why does their choice of clother excuse their attacker? It doesn't. You're silly if you think otherwise.
The less guilt on the attacker. The more guilt on the victim.
Stop. Victim. Blaming.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 109 points

NarniaNachos
posted a quote
July 4, 2013 8:32pm UTC

If a cop asks you,
"Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
It's not a good idea to respond,
"Because my tires look like donuts?"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 101 points

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 6:28pm UTC

police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude

👍 this is good · read the comments · 88 points

wonderful_me
posted a quote
July 26, 2013 11:58pm UTC

POLICE: Where do you live?
ME: with my parents
POLICE: Where do your parents live?
ME: with me
POLICE: Where do you all live?
ME: together
POLICE: Where is your house?
ME: next to my neighbour's house.
POLICE: Where is your neighbours house?
ME: if i tell you, you won't believe me.
POLICE: Tell me.
ME: next to my house.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 83 points

Jordan.*
posted a quote
December 31, 2013 2:24am UTC

"I haven't reported my missing
credit card to the police because
whoever stole it is spending less than
my wife."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 64 points

Ethanol
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 6:25am UTC

police everywhere
justice nowehere
format by ethanol

👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points

dolph*
posted a quote
June 22, 2013 10:34am UTC

you know you're british when the grammar police are more reliable than the actual police

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
March 12, 2013 3:41pm UTC

Police: Texting while driving is a distraction
Police: *Uses radio, radar, dash cam, and laptop*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

0____0
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 11:16am UTC

a policeman pulled me over on a motorway and said "papers" i replied
"scissors, i win" and drove off..
..he must want a rematch because he's been chasing me for miles now..

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 35 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
June 7, 2013 5:05pm UTC

"Hello, 911? There must be like
a thousand dead people over here!"
"Where are you at, son?"
"The cemetery."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 30 points

flyingbacon7
posted a quote
March 13, 2014 7:23pm UTC

Every breath you take
I'll be missing you

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

Dishonored*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 9:23pm UTC

I like how in cop shows,the police are always so
motivated and professional,
while the cops where I live
would be more like;
"lol hey, can someone take a
picture of me with the dead body?"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

soccertrack
posted a quote
April 3, 2013 3:19pm UTC

Bucket List #19
Steal a donut truck. Get in a high speed chase with police. Watch police chase down the donut truck.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

ArmagedonNinjaX
posted a quote
December 11, 2013 1:24pm UTC

Officer: Alright, we're going to have to do a drug test.
Me: Ight, cool, which drugs are we testing?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 18 points

Ninja918
posted a quote
November 17, 2013 4:35pm UTC

Me: Hello 911, there's like a thousand dead people here!
Police: Where are you?......
Me: At the Cemetery.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

IKnewYouWereTrouble
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 12:22am UTC

when a cop asks "do you know why I pulled you over?"
it's never a good idea to respond with
"because my tires look like donuts?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

The Ukrainian Chick*
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 7:19pm UTC

police: *knock knock*
me: whos there
police: theres been an accident
me: theres been an accident who

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Witty Profiles

Best Police Quotes Ever