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br0kenwings
posted a quote
August 18, 2013 9:28pm UTC

I've got a rough side,
a wild side at least
A COUNTRY MILE WIDE,
a fightin' side after a few.
If they wanna see my sweet side,
my soft side, my best side;
I just point at you.
Please don't remove this!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 43 points

ImmaBeWitty
posted a quote
August 19, 2013 10:18am UTC

▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲
WELL YOU ONLY NEED THE
LIGHT WHEN IT'S BURNING LOW,
ONLY MISS THE SUN
WHEN IT STARTS TO SNOW,
ONLY KNOW YOU LOVE HER
WHEN YOU LET HER GO.
AND YOU LET HER GO.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 80 points

macccy_xo
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 3:07pm UTC

"dude look at the personality on that girl"
"dang man i'd talk to her all night long"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 466 points

kristabff
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 3:15pm UTC

Me: ~sees cat outside my door~
Me: ~picks up cat and puts her on my bed~
Me: So, how're you baby boo? ~pets cat~
Cat: ~immediately jumps off bed and runs out of the room~
REJECTED
© format by: h0peful

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 303 points

Cammie
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 8:19pm UTC

Oh, you got a 97 on a test and your upset about it?
here, use my 56 to dry your tears.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 413 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 7:07pm UTC

"You're denying it, so it must be true!"
No, I'm denying it because it's motherf.cking false.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 358 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 2, 2013 5:12pm UTC

Someone should pull a prank on Justin Bieber where he goes
somewhere crowded and they hire a bunch of teenage girls to pretend they don't know who he is and just see how p.ssed off he gets.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 429 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 17, 2013 3:46pm UTC

Me: ~tapes a cheetah to the back of the school clocks~

👍 this is good · read the comments · 422 points

yourcool
posted a quote
April 11, 2013 8:38pm UTC

do you ever "miss" a food
after you're done eating it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 436 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 5:11pm UTC

What if this happened.
Girl: ~does math homework in class~
Girl: Omg i can't these problems!!
Girl: It's sO HARD I CANT OMGG
Girl: ~runs away crying in frustration~
Teacher: What just happened miss
Girls Friend: She ran away from her problems

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 456 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 12:42pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
90% of the ocean is unexplored,
yet you're going to tell me mermaids don't exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 456 points

BrunetteBiitch
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 4:19pm UTC

So I was looking through comments on this popular instagram page today
and I saw this:
"Hello, I am currently 9 years old and I want to become a potato. I know there are a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14, I'm moving to Lays; home of the greatest potatoes around. I've already cut off both my arms, and now roll on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a potato yet, but I promise if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest potato ever. I have a dandy dandy human companion to guide me through this harsh journey and type this up for me. Thank you."
Please, whoever and where ever you are, come and join witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 475 points

yourcool
posted a quote
April 15, 2013 8:25pm UTC

The most scariest thing about this whol thing is that this will be in the history books one day. Kids from the year 3090 will learn about this day and all the other events. Black president, gay rights movement, war in iraq, 9/11, sandy, hook shooting, boston marathon bombing.
We are living in history now.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 518 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 2:19pm UTC

Maybe this is what
the Mayans predicted.
Not an asteroid or a solar flare,
but the end of what we are.
We no longer cherish life,
or the other people,
or even the earth or the animals
or the resources put on it.
War.
Genocide.
Abuse.
Senseless mass murder.
Animal cruelty.
Gluttony.
Greed.
And waste.
Look around you,
the end of the world is already here...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 665 points

yourcool
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 6:28pm UTC

imagine a library filled with every book in the world,
none of them have titles on the cover and the pages are blank, but when you open one you are instantly transported to the world within the book. you get to live in the story as any character for as long as you like. and when you come out of the story, almost no time has passed in the real world.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 537 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 3:24pm UTC

"i'm so fat!"
I scream as I shove a brownie, pizza, my neighbors cat, two oak trees, a small country into my mouth
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 534 points

happiest*
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 1:28pm UTC

My brother walked into my room.
He asked what the worst day of my life was.
I said 'i dont know.' and he said
'mine was today.'
i asked him why and he was silent.
i said 'did you and your girlfriend break up?'
he looked up with tears in his eyes and nodded.
he said 'she broke up with me for logan, my bestfriend.'
and i hugged him while he cried on my shoulder.
my heart broke.
he's only 9.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 727 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
March 30, 2013 8:31pm UTC

Guest: where's your daughter?
Dad: oh, she's in her room. she won't come out unless you bring food or band members.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 616 points

Eli22b
posted a quote
April 12, 2013 5:15pm UTC

Just because someone supports gay rights,
doesn't mean they're gay. I mean I support animal rights,
do I look like an f.cking alpaca to you?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 797 points

heyitscooper
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 2:55pm UTC

The next iPhone needs to replace Siri with the voice of Morgan Freeman.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 72 points

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