Me: hey mom look I did all the dishes
Me: hey mom look I got on a honor roll
Me: hey mom look I got another award today
Me: hey mom look I'm not addicted to drugs, alcohol, and s.ex
Me: hey mom look I won the Nobel peace prize
Me: hey mom look I broke a world record
Me: *forgot to wipe off counters*
My mom: GOD NO ONE EVER DOES ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE. THIS FAMILY IS SO DISRESPECTFUL. I WORK MY BUTT OFF ALL DAY JUST TO COME HOME TO THIS MESS. YOU ARE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU'RE 69283829392.