Best Lul Quotes This Week

* Sabaism *
posted a quote
January 28, 2014 5:36pm UTC

Lol @ school for not teaching us stuff everyone was going to need to know how to do like manage money, how to not freak out at an interview, how to deal with the death of a loved one, what love really is, ect. ect.
Did you expect us to walk into a job interview and be like 'A2 + B2 = C2. Do I get the job now?'

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 15, 2013 4:55pm UTC

Story Time With Lyrie #4
I once did drugs
And like
I legitly believed I was a pink unicorn turned human
So I started running everywhere
Yelling
'Oh great unicorn gods of unicorness,
Please take me back to your kingdom
For I wish to embrace my inner unicorn.'

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 19, 2013 8:17pm UTC

Confession #37
9th Grade Biology.
The chairs weren't very high
And to top it all off
I just hit my growth spirt the previous summer
My teacher was pretty old
But he still had a bo'ner
And was like standing right in front of me
He was tall
So I had a pretty clear veiw of it
That night I cut out magizene clippings
And pasted them onto a peice of paper
In hopes to like embarrass him or something
Because being ho'rny during school isn't cool
Anyway
It said 'I'm guessing about 9 inches?'
Put it into an envelope
Had my sister write his name and the school's address on it
And she mailed
So he wouldn't figure out it was me.
Well the next day I'm sitting in class
All bored and stuff
And as I'm walking out the door
He whispers into my ear
'You're good with guessing size. I'm glad you noticed.'
I stayed after class to ask him how he knew it was me
And he said he didn't,
He just guessed and figured I'd either throw myself at him or walk away confused.
I changed schools a week later
Not because I was weirded out
But because every time I looked at him
I oddly imagined him
Nakid and having se'x with a rubber duck
And that made learning about Biology
Really really hard.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
November 25, 2013 12:12am UTC

Story Time with Lyric #343453426
My sister once asked me to get her chocolate
Because she was on her period
I said no because I didn't want to get up
And I went to sleep
She was so upset
She stuck two of her used tampons up my nose
And two in my ears
Sigh.
I can still smell and hear period to this day

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mads*
posted a quote
May 14, 2014 4:51pm UTC

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned?

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
October 29, 2013 5:37pm UTC

Confession #56
No matter how old I am
I will always laugh
When someone brings up
How Aphrodite
Was born from the foam of Uranus' genitals.

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mads*
posted a quote
January 14, 2014 6:19pm UTC

I use humor to cover up the fact that I want to jump off a bridge

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 9, 2013 8:16am UTC

Confession #22
I'm terrible with technology
Likeoml
I broke my phone with a hammar
Tossed my camera into the ocean
I've thrown my laptop across the room countless times
And I just now chucked my alarm clock at the wall
I mean like
It's not my fault that it's so annoying
And the alarm clock wouldn't shut up
How else was I supposed to turn it off? ;-;
I'll make a wonderful parent...

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
January 31, 2014 1:10pm UTC

GUIS~
I have a hot date for Valentines day
And I plan to play with him all night
It'll be the best day ever
Maybe he'll let me bring my steamy friend along
And I can eat my friend as I play with him
Their names are Gameboy and Potato.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 1:18am UTC

Girl: Ew. Hipster.
Me: Ugh. You're so conventional.
Girl: What?
Me: Ask Dora to teach you some new vocab next time she goes to your bridge.
Girl: Did you just... But... Uhm... Okay... (Walks away)

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 9, 2013 9:14pm UTC

Confession #24
I started shaving my legs when I was about 14
Because in gym you had to wear shorts
And like
It's more socially acceptable for a boy to shave
Than it is for a boy to cut
So if any one noticed
I could say I cut myself whilst shaving
Now I have to shave
Otherwise my legs become a jungle
I also am fond of the softness... ;-;

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 10:08pm UTC

Josh: Hmm. I wonder how birds have sèx...
Me: Weeelllll
Raven: NO! SHUT UP! OR ATLEAST KEEP IT PG-13
Me: You know I don't keep things pg-13 on weekends..
Josh: Does that mean we can make our friendship rated R tonight?
Me: Yes, Josh. R for Reality check. We should obviously not be friends. Get out of my line of oxygenation.
Raven: Well that's mean.
Me: Oh. Right. Birds. (Proceeds to graphically describe bird sèx which I will not describe here. You're welcome.)
Josh: Uhm.... Well... That's.... That's too much... Even for me... Never talk to me again... Freak....
And that's how you get rid of an annoying Berk...

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 14, 2013 12:57am UTC

Confession #30
I refuse to hurt a fly.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
December 1, 2013 6:04pm UTC

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
This quote is as black as my soul.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
September 3, 2013 6:34pm UTC

Confession #7
I don't know how to count.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
December 28, 2013 4:29pm UTC

When life gives you lemons
Throw them as far as possible
Because it's really Osama
And their bombs, not lemons.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
March 26, 2014 2:39pm UTC

Remember kids:
Anything is a verb if you put -ing at the end

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
October 1, 2013 6:03pm UTC

So today
I inhaled Oxygen
And exhaled Carbon Dioxide
Awesome, right?
I bet you're so jealous
Too bad you can't change Oxygen to Carbon Dioxide.
AGENTS.
I HAVE ANOTHER MISSION FOR YOU
Make a quote for your inspiration
RULES:
1) It must be nice, like try to make their day
2) You must link it on their profile
3) It can not be for yourself, me, or accounts that are just for shout outs
(I have nothing against people who just do shout outs it's just that they already know that they're amazing... Also if you know the main account to those people, by all means, use them if you want. Just make it for the main account instead of the shout out one. )
4) Try to be creative, make it something you'd be proud of
5) Have fun with it I mean sure, there are a few rules but everything has rules.
Once again, use your agent name if you comment.
You may change it if you wish
Just make it cool.
TheIllusionist, out.

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* Sabaism *
posted a quote
January 10, 2014 5:29pm UTC

Josh: I think I'm straight..
Me: The only thing straight about you is your hair.

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mads*
posted a quote
February 22, 2014 2:20pm UTC

imagine gordan ramsey playing flappy bird

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Best Lul Quotes This Week