Okay so let me get this straight, Twilight is a book about an emotionless, boring, weak girl who falls in love with a sparkly vampire who can't decide if he wants her or not. And later, the vampire blackmails her by forcing her to marry him in exchange for sexual intercourse, which leads to her becoming a teen mom. She then dies and her sparkly husband bites her, forcing her into extreme pain for three days. Meanwhile, her childhood best friend that is a werewolf becomes a pedophile and falls in love with her daughter because he couldn't get the mother...?