Dadjokes Quotes

justalilpoptart
posted a quote
July 18, 2014 12:58pm UTC

and my favorite mythical creature is
a dad with funny jokes

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britany*
posted a quote
July 2, 2014 4:15am UTC

so today my siblings and I were deciding what pizza we wanted, and my sister goes "let's have a deep dish pizza" and my dad, who works at dominos goes, "are you sure? it's not that great."

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AtmosFEAR
posted a quote
June 6, 2014 7:52pm UTC

"Honey... I'm pregnant." She whispers to him
"Hi pregnant..." He whispers back, tears of joy in his eyes. "I'm dad."

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RoseNightshade1799
posted a quote
December 31, 2013 12:50pm UTC

Dads at party: *are all deathly silent*
Dads at party: *suddenly all erupt in deafening laughter*

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RoseNightshade1799
posted a quote
November 28, 2013 6:27pm UTC

My dad can literally fall asleep anywhere.
~a bed
~a chair
~a swimming pool
~on top of the bloody bodies of his vanquished enemies
~a couch

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glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:46pm UTC

Where do white girls live?
The White House

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glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:41pm UTC

Me: *eats my weight in Halloween candy* Why aren't I skinny yet

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glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:38pm UTC

Stereotypical White Girl: *cries* My daddy won't pay for my nose job

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glitter162*
posted a quote
November 1, 2013 3:36pm UTC

Me: Dad, I'm cold
Dad: Go stand in a corner
Me: Why?
Dad:
Me:
Dad: The corner is 90 degrees.

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dolph*
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 1:24pm UTC

me: i'm cold
dad: hey cold, i'm dad
dads of the world: *unite in uproarious laughter*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 64 points

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