Contest_funniest_quote Quotes

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 8, 2013 5:58pm UTC

wittyxxgirlxx format don't remove
McDonalds actually does serve breakfast
past 10:30 if you bring a gun

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 127 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 1:35pm UTC

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something
so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed

👍 this is good · read the comments · 354 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 1:32pm UTC

"When life gives you a bad romance, show everyone your Poker Face, buy a Telephone, call Alejandro, and you guys just dance.... xDD <3"
14 year old me being cool and edgy
And before you ask , yes i did like my own status

👍 this is good · read the comments · 115 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 2:12pm UTC

my english teacher in 9th grade used to put prompts up for daily 5 minute writing warmups and one day the prompt was just the word “hippo” and i wrote a page long story in 5 minutes about an underground russian mafia that distributed hippo feces because they discovered that it had euphoric properties similar to marijuana it was like the new opium and rich people paid big money for it but it was illegal in every country and my teacher made me read it out loud to the class

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 2:07pm UTC

what kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?
2 Na

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 115 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 3:15pm UTC

me after every conversation: why the fck did i say that

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 169 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 3:12pm UTC

why don’t murderers just hide the bodies in cemeteries

👍 this is good · read the comments · 172 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 3:09pm UTC

*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 111 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 1:41pm UTC

*sophomore voice* ew freshman

👍 this is good · read the comments · 129 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 1:39pm UTC

NO DONT MAKE ME GET ATTACHED AND THEN STOP SPEAKING TO ME

👍 this is good · read the comments · 96 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 22, 2013 1:37pm UTC

not having children until 2090 because i want 90s kids

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 154 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:18pm UTC

my mom legitimately just called me to say “i’m worried about you you’re too sarcastic for normal friends and you’re too nice to be in a street gang”

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 187 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:16pm UTC

can boys like stop having skinner legs than me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 215 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:13pm UTC

"what are you getting all dressed up for"
"mom i’m taking a selfie"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 117 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 20, 2013 1:19pm UTC

i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week

👍 this is good · read the comments · 175 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 4:26pm UTC

miley literally is a genius she did all of this sh-t at award shows and performances and made people talk about her for months, and her album ends up being #1 and breaking records and now she’s just sitting back at her house laughing about all the money/success she has and going back to taking selfies with her dogs. she’s so smart.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 167 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 4:24pm UTC

When I was 7 I tried to run away from home but I wasnt allowed to cross the street so I just took left turns and I eventually ended up back at home and it was really embarrassing

👍 this is good · read the comments · 155 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 4:22pm UTC

queen elizabeth wasnt allowed to climb stairs by herself growing up so when she became queen she ran up and down the stairs because no one could stop her

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 137 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 1:05pm UTC

u (◠‿◠✿)
did not (◠‿◠✿)
teach us this (◠‿◠✿)
why is it (◠‿◠✿)
on the test (◠‿◠✿)
BTCH (⊙‿⊙✿)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 229 points

happiest*
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 2:25pm UTC

i may be ugly and annoying but at least i don’t have a selfie of me as my phones background

👍 this is good · read the comments · 231 points

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